Behind The Beam | Tuesdays with Stories #403 w/ Mark Normand and Joe List

• 0:00 Cold open: fake banter, and a Memorial Day taping in New York.
• 1:00 CNN’s The Story of Late Night, and why neither host will ever get a network desk.
• 3:20 Principals, vice principals, and the scariest disciplinarian at Catholic high.
• 5:20 The cat puts on a show, and a principal who doubles as the wrestling coach.
• 8:00 The eye-contact fart, and the fart rules of a relationship.
• 10:00 “Farting in front of a guy is the same as crying in front of a woman.”
• 12:20 Jerking off as the male cry, and an act that is all dick jokes.
• 13:20 Late-night submissions, an old drowning joke, and “we’re stocked up on your type.”
• 15:00 Allergies, reflux, and a pizza-and-ice-cream week at Joe’s parents’ house.
• 17:20 One host’s brown-rice, no-soda childhood, and the Aunt Ifa sketch idea.
• 19:20 Candlepin bowling back home in Whitman, and getting spotted in sweats.
• 20:40 Why candlepin is “clearly worse,” and also harder.
• 23:20 Spokane: sunny skies, Gonzaga, and the best green rooms in America.
• 25:00 The 10 a.m. JFK flight: a $150 Uber, a $148 Lyft, so Mark takes the A train.
• 26:40 Lefferts vs. Rockaway, the AirTrain, and the Terminal 4 sprint.
• 29:20 PreCheck regret, CLEAR, and a magic security line.
• 30:20 Cutting in at the conveyor belt, making the flight, and L.A. Confidential on the plane.
• 31:40 Joe’s missed flight to Maine: the JFK long-term lot, the AirTrain and a lost night in Jamaica, Queens.
• 33:20 BluBlox read.
• 35:00 Patreon plug: Hot Gay Sets and the video a week early.
• 37:00 Back at JFK: the cab line is the new big deal.
• 38:20 Train-tracker apps and a nose clog.
• 39:10 Joe’s Royersford weekend at SoulJoel’s with Louis C.K., Matt Wayne and Jordan Jensen.
• 40:20 Matt Wayne’s fart video, and Mohegan Sun the week before.
• 41:50 Hartford, and fans doubling up across Connecticut.
• 42:50 Rush-hour traffic, a hail storm, and rain every single time at Royersford.
• 44:00 The tent: 400 sold out, a Wegmans cookie, and the lineup.
• 45:20 Who goes first, and why Matt Wayne wants to.
• 46:00 Jordan Jensen murders, and following her.
• 47:00 Lightning mid-set, rain blowing onto the stage, and 35 minutes to wait out the storm.
• 48:50 The storm clears for Louie, then two freight trains roll through.
• 49:30 Handel’s stays open for the comics.
• 50:10 Midnight at the Village Underground, an $85 Uber with Greg Stone, and a 1 a.m. hang next door.
• 51:20 Neighbor life: Ace Ventura through the window and Dumb and Dumber cookies.
• 52:10 Me, Myself & Irene, the backyard cookout, and why New York is a hard place to hang.
• 53:20 Calling strangers “fatty” at meet-and-greets.
• 53:40 Mark’s 5:48 a.m. flight: no sleep, a scheduled Uber and a driver in a Hawaiian shirt.
• 56:00 A delay, a switch to the Salt Lake City flight, and the joy of a new boarding pass.
• 57:00 The window-shade guy: behind the beam.
• 57:50 Devil’s advocate: it is his window.
• 59:00 If you are not looking out, close it.
• 1:00:00 The flight attendant asks him to close it, then fist-bumps Mark.
• 1:00:40 Nicer flight attendants, and the middle-seat armrest.
• 1:01:50 Virginia Beach this weekend, and featuring for Dave Attell there on a Super Bowl weekend.
• 1:03:00 A 40-minute smoke session in the green room before the show.
• 1:03:30 Tour dates: Dayton, Toledo, Syracuse and Brea.
• 1:04:00 The Des Moines Funny Bone, the Comedy Club of Kansas City and the PS 109 show.
• 1:04:50 Joe and Raanan Talk Movies on Jim Carrey, Patreon, and more tour dates.

• 20:40 Candlepin is clearly worse — Joe takes on New England’s favorite bowling and expects death threats.
• 23:20 The best green rooms in America — Spokane Comedy Club’s owner, a former comic, gives comics a call light for the server and a chest of drawers full of candy, and runs the same setup in his other clubs.
• 25:00 The A-train gamble — Too cheap for a $150 Uber, Mark hauls 18 piles of merch onto the subway to JFK and nearly misses the only flight that gets him to Spokane in time.
• 31:40 The AirTrain ambush — Joe parks his dead grandfather’s car in the JFK lot, misses his flight to a Portland, Maine gig, and gets lost in Jamaica, Queens.
• 39:10 Royersford in a storm — A sold-out 400-seat tent, lightning and hail in the middle of Joe’s set, then two freight trains during Louie’s.
• 50:10 The 1 a.m. hang — Joe finds his neighbors through the window and turns the night into a party.
• 57:00 Behind the beam — On a 6 a.m. flight, the guy in the window seat leaves the shade up and never once looks out.

The Story of Late Night (CNN, 2021) — The six-part docuseries the hosts open with: Joan Rivers, Arsenio, Leno on Letterman and the late-night wars. Official site 1:20

Nestlé Toll House chocolate chips — The chocolate chips that sit on the counter 24/7 at Joe’s parents’ house. Amazon 16:00

Fargo (1996) — The funny-looking guy at the end of Fargo is how Joe’s hamstring feels after candlepin. Amazon 19:40

L.A. Confidential (Blu-ray) — What Mark watched on the flight to Spokane: “That’s a fine film. It’s very confusing.” Amazon 31:10

Hot Gay Sets (Tuesdays Patreon) — The behind-the-scenes series of the hosts running around New York, plus the video a week early. Patreon 35:00

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (Blu-ray) — Joe watches it with a neighbor who climbs in through the window. Amazon 51:30

Dumb and Dumber (Blu-ray) — Joe brings it over the next day: “I got Dumb and Dumber, cookie.” Amazon 51:50

Me, Myself & Irene (Blu-ray) — “My grandmother’s half Italian”: the best line of the film, from Jim Carrey “when he was still great.” Amazon 52:20

Joe and Raanan Talk Movies — Joe’s movie podcast; this week, Jim Carrey. Apple Podcasts 1:04:50

Saved by the Bell — Mr. Belding, and the school vice principal who did the disciplining. Wikipedia 3:20

Candlepin bowling — The tiny-ball New England version Joe says is clearly worse, and harder. Wikipedia 20:40

Uber and Lyft surge prices — $150 and $148 to JFK, and cabs that are hard to find since rideshare. Wikipedia 25:40

TSA PreCheck — Mark wishes he had listened to Joe and signed up. Wikipedia 29:20

CLEAR — Mark still has CLEAR in his back pocket. Wikipedia 30:00

White Reaper — The band Matt Wayne introduced Joe to. Wikipedia 42:35

Woodstock ’99 — How the storm at Royersford felt from the stage. Wikipedia 47:20

Scheduled Uber rides — The anxiety killer for a 5:48 a.m. flight, until the app says it is still looking. Wikipedia 54:40

Super Bowl XLIII — The Steelers–Cardinals Super Bowl weekend one host featured for Dave Attell in Virginia Beach. Wikipedia 1:02:40

Whitman, Mass. — Joe’s hometown, “like a time machine” back to 1971: bowling, beer and Whites. Wikipedia 19:20

Abington, Mass. — Where the whole family goes candlepin bowling. Wikipedia 19:30

Spokane Comedy Club, Spokane, Wash. — Mark’s sold-out weekend. The owner is a former comic, and the hosts call his green rooms the best in America: a light on the wall to call the server, and a chest of drawers with a different candy in every drawer. (Official site) 23:20

Tacoma Comedy Club, Tacoma, Wash. — One of the same owner’s clubs, “and they’re all great,” with a video arcade. (Official site) 24:35

Bricktown Comedy Club, Oklahoma City — Another club from the same owner, named in the same breath. (Official site) 24:35

Skyline Comedy Club, Appleton, Wis. — The same owner’s Appleton club, named with Tacoma and Bricktown and on the tour list at the close. (Official site) 24:35

John F. Kennedy International Airport, Queens — The only airport with a flight to Spokane; Terminal 4, the AirTrain and the sprint. Wikipedia 25:40

AirTrain JFK — “I’ve been beat by the AirTrain before.” A 20-minute ride from the parking lot. Wikipedia 27:20

Boothbay Harbor, Maine — Where Joe was headed for the Fourth of July, like always. Wikipedia 31:50

Comedy Connection, Portland, Maine — The gig Joe was flying to when he missed his flight, about 15 years ago. The club has since closed. Wikipedia 32:30

Jamaica, Queens — Where Joe was left driving around lost after the missed flight. Wikipedia 33:00

Long Beach, N.Y. — A Hot Gay Sets trip out to Long Island. Wikipedia 35:30

Comedy Cellar, New York — Shot for Hot Gay Sets, and where Jordan Jensen is “the hot young comic.” After Royersford, Joe stops by the Village Underground at midnight. (Official site) 35:40

The Stand, New York — Also in the Hot Gay Sets behind-the-scenes footage. (Official site) 35:40

LaGuardia Airport, Queens — The cab line used to be 800 yellow cabs; now you wait 15 minutes for one. Wikipedia 37:40

SoulJoel’s, Royersford, Pa. — Joe’s fifth or sixth time there: a sold-out 400-seat tent he calls “the dome,” a crowd that knows the hosts, and rain every single time. The owner, Soul Joel, is “the king.” (The club has since moved to the SunnyBrook Ballroom in Pottstown.) (Official site) 39:30

Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Conn. — The gig with Louie the week before: “a great time,” plus gambling and a stuck $20 bill. (Official site) 41:10

Wegmans — Joe can never not get the chocolate chip cookie: “best cookies in the world.” Wikipedia 44:10

Handel’s Homemade Ice Cream — The ice cream place that stays open for the comics after the show. Wikipedia 49:40

Astoria, Queens — The neighborhood hang, with a shared backyard and a new picnic table. Wikipedia 52:30

The Berkshires, Mass. — Where they would need a house to really let loose. Wikipedia 53:00

Salt Lake City International Airport — The flight Mark switches to so he can make his JFK connection. Wikipedia 56:10

Virginia Beach, Va. — This weekend’s gig, and the Super Bowl weekend with Dave Attell years ago. Wikipedia 1:02:00

Funny Bone, Des Moines — June 10–12: “I love Des Moines, I love Iowa.” (Official site) 1:04:05

The Comedy Club of Kansas City — The third week in June: “I hear it’s great.” (Official site) 1:04:10

El Barrio’s Artspace PS109, East 99th Street — Home of the PS 109 show, back for the first time in two years. Wikipedia 1:04:20

Orlando Improv — On the tour list at the close. (Official site) 1:05:20

Helium Comedy Club, Philadelphia — On the tour list. (Official site) 1:05:20

Houston Improv — On the tour list. (Official site) 1:05:20

Arlington Improv — On the tour list. (Official site) 1:05:30

Comedy Connection, East Providence, R.I. — On the tour list. (Official site) 1:05:35

• BluBlox (33:20) — blublox.com/tuesdays · sleep glasses with red lenses for after sundown, clear blue-light lenses for screen days, and Summer Glow yellow lenses; 20% off with code TUESDAYS (2021 read; the brand is now BON CHARGE).

• What comedians are buying — Gear and gifts that come up on comedy podcasts. What Are People Buying
• 1:20 The Story of Late Night — The CNN docuseries the hosts open with. The Comedian List: Jay Leno · The Comedian List: David Letterman · Watch on CNN
• 23:20 Spokane Comedy Club — The green room the hosts call the best in America. Official site
• 39:30 SoulJoel’s — Joe’s go-to tent show with Louis C.K., now at the SunnyBrook Ballroom in Pottstown. The Comedian List: Louis C.K. · Official site
• 51:30 Jim Carrey’s run — Ace Ventura, Dumb and Dumber and Me, Myself & Irene. The Comedian List: Jim Carrey
• 1:04:50 Joe and Raanan Talk Movies — Joe’s movie podcast with Raanan Hershberg. The Comedian List: Raanan Hershberg · Listen on Apple Podcasts