• BlueChew Gold — ED chewable, 4-in-1, dissolves under tongue, ready in ~15 min; 10% off with code TUESDAYS at BlueChew.com
• Shopify — Powers ~10% of US e-commerce; $1/month trial at shopify.com/tuesdays
• Kalshi — Largest US prediction market; $10 bonus with code TUESDAY at kalshi.com/r/TUESDAY
• Patreon — Bonus content including “Musk TV” at patreon.com/tuesdays

You’ll Love This Episode If You’re Into…

• Streaming special politics and “dangerous joke” debates
• Stand-up comedy road stories and open-mic grind nostalgia
• New York vs Austin culture, crime, and quality of life
• Bar fights, spleen horror, and ambulance vs Uber hacks
• Parenting in Tribeca and celebrity run-ins (Claire Danes!)
• Gross but legendary on-mic fart moments
• Green room weed culture and body hair debates

3 Best Quotes

• “I want you to admit on this call that there are dangerous people.” — Mark to Hulu execs
• “He didn’t realize he had been stabbed in the spleen… they had to take his spleen out.” — Joe
• “You put [it] on the internet, that’s where the fire [starts].” — Mark on social media vs TV

Total Count (Full Episode)

• 0 Books  ·  ~8 Products/Services  ·  25+ People  ·  25+ Concepts/Ideas

02Episode Overview

Mark and Joe bounce through bar-fight spleen horror, the politics of a censored Muslim joke on a Hulu special, a double-barrel historic fart on mic, and the eternal debate over women’s armpit hair vs leg hair. They also hit NYC crime, Uber vs ambulance hacks, private security after BLM, parenting milestones (Marty’s first haircut and a Claire Danes run-in), and classic road-comic hang dynamics.

The episode closes with a Bagel World stare-down where Sal reaches for pepper spray, regional Lyft driver small-talk riffs, and plugs for upcoming tour dates across the US and UK.

03Top Quotes & Soundbites
“

I want you to admit on this call that there are dangerous people.

Mark Normand to Hulu executives  ·  ~17:00
“

He didn’t realize he had been stabbed in the spleen… they had to take his spleen out.

Joe List — the bar stabbing story  ·  ~23:00
“

You put [it] on the internet, that’s where the fire [starts].

Mark Normand on social media vs TV controversy  ·  ~14:00
“

Everyone’s looking at the [phone] all the time.

Mark Normand dismissing St. Patrick’s Day release anxiety  ·  ~11:00
“

You never drive it again… or something like that.

Joe quoting his dad after the drunk Mardi Gras car fiasco  ·  ~33:00
“

I eat a nibble of an edible to go to bed and if I don’t fall asleep, I’m like ‘Oh no, childhood.’

Mark Normand on weed anxiety  ·  ~50:00
“

I go to Tony’s Pizza, it’s not like ‘Hey, I’m Tony.’ But Rosie actually is Rosie.

Joe List on realizing the hairdresser’s name really is Rosie  ·  ~59:00
“

We live in Baton Rouge. You’re not a celebrity. No one’s punking you, Jeff.

Joe List on delusional shadow-ban complainers  ·  ~20:00

04Timestamp Directory — Full Episode

• 00:00Cold Open & Austin StereotypesAustin’s shift from “keep Austin weird” hippie town to Alex Jones right-wing associations
• 03:00Weather Swings & Subway MiseryJoe’s brutal winter commutes to Atlantic Terminal; trains silently losing power; panties and tube tops 12 hours earlier
• 06:00Austin Move Fantasies & Ari BarefootAri Shaffir living like Rick Rubin; debate over Rubin’s actual musicianship; Johnny Cash, RHCP, Beastie Boys
• 09:00⭐ Historic Double-Barrel FartMark unleashes a legendary double fart; they declare it “historic”; jokes about “brown gum” underwear
• 11:00Mark’s Hulu Special & St. Patrick’s Day ReleaseRelease timing anxiety; argues people watch content all day anyway; Hulu asks for promo clips
• 14:00⭐ The Muslim Joke Phone Call with HuluHulu requests removal from socials due to past bomb threats and death threats to another comic
• 17:00⭐ Forcing Execs to Admit “Dangerous People”Mark agrees to pull joke from socials only if executives verbally acknowledge real danger; virtue signaling vs real fear
• 20:00YouTube vs Hulu Censorship & AlgosYouTube’s “wizard behind the curtain” robots; Sam’s Nazi joke dinged out of context; shadow-ban paranoia; Ari as early complainer
• 23:00⭐ Spleen Stabbing Bar Story (Episode Title)Friend stabbed in the spleen at Big Easy bar after dancing with someone’s girlfriend; only realizes in a cab when bleeding everywhere
• 26:00Car Theft vs Towing ConfusionNot knowing if a car’s stolen or towed; film productions moving cars; police stations with relocation info
• 29:00BlueChew Gold Ad ReadMark delivers over-the-top BlueChew Gold spot; “purple [thing],” feeling like a passionate stallion; code TUESDAYS
• 31:00Shopify Ad ReadShopify’s dominance in e-commerce, templates, built-in marketing; $1/month trial at shopify.com/tuesdays
• 33:00Mardi Gras Lost Car & Dad ConfrontationMark parks drunk at Mardi Gras, thinks car stolen; dad circles the block and finds it; confronts Mark about drunk driving
• 36:00Young Comic Days & Lamont Price RidesJoe drives Lamont Price 20 minutes north every night then an hour home just to bask in comedy mentorship
• 39:00⭐ Car Stolen Outside the Comedy ConnectionJoe’s Buick stolen; dad drives into Boston at midnight; still has to ferry Lamont to Revere; near-silent racially awkward ride
• 42:00Age, Hang Fatigue & Road vs CityEarly excitement of late-night hangs vs current “do the set and leave” mentality; road as focused creative time
• 45:00Austin Move & Relatives Wanting BarbecuesDistant acquaintances expecting hangs when you’re in their town; “no upside” in those social obligations
• 48:00Kalshi Sponsor AdPrediction trading on March Madness, Netflix #1 movie, Trump’s Mar-a-Lago trips, aliens by 2027; code TUESDAY
• 50:00⭐ Weed Rooms vs Panic SmokersMark marvels at comics who smoke weed for hours and still perform; his own “4-minute” weed span leads to paranoia and self-loathing
• 53:00Hot Yoga & Armpit vs Leg Hair DebateMark’s hot-yoga instructor with hairy armpits sparks a long green-room debate at The Stand
• 56:00Body Hair Deep Dive — Ethnicity, Smell & Sex ZonesWhite comics vs others on armpit vs leg hair; sweat/smell factor; visibility during sex; “statement” vs “neglect” framing
• 59:00⭐ Claire Danes Haircut Mis-IDJoe walks into Rosie’s kids salon, mistakes Claire Danes for an idle barber, asks if she’s “available” to cut his son’s hair
• 1:02:00Playground Run-In & First Haircut MilestoneRepeated failure to recognize Claire Danes at playground; Marty’s first-haircut certificate and lock of hair in a bag
• 1:05:00⭐ Bagel World Stare-Down & Pepper SprayMan stands silently staring at Mark and Sal; Sal reaches for pepper spray; staff reveal he does this 8 times a day
• 1:08:00Uber Drivers, Small Talk & Tour DatesChatty Southern/Midwestern Lyft drivers vs silent NYC drivers; tour plugs (US & UK); Patreon “Musk TV” promo

05People Mentioned
Co-HostMark NormandNYC stand-up with Hulu special dropping on St. Patrick’s Day. The Muslim joke Hulu call, double fart, and weed paranoia riffs are all his.→ Website
Co-HostJoe ListNYC comic and father of Marty. Storyteller behind the spleen stabbing, Lamont Price rides, and the Claire Danes haircut saga. Touring US and UK.→ Website
Comic FriendAri ShaffirSymbol of the Austin move — barefoot on the steps, living like Rick Rubin. Also one of the earliest shadow-ban complainers among comics.→ Website
Music ProducerRick RubinLegendary producer debated for his actual musicianship. Credits cited: Johnny Cash, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beastie Boys.→ The Creative Act Amazon
Actor / NeighborClaire DanesJoe accidentally asks her if she’s free to cut his son’s hair at Rosie’s salon. Then keeps not recognizing her at the playground. Known for My So-Called Life, Homeland.→ Wikipedia
Boston Comic / MentorLamont PriceEarly Joe List mentor. Joe drove him 20 min north every night out of reverence. After Joe’s car was stolen, his dad had to drive Lamont to Revere — a famously awkward ride.→ URL TBD
Friend / PodcasterSalacuse (Sal)Co-star of the Bagel World stare-down. Reaches for pepper spray at a silent staring man. Known for vigilante tendencies and the “We Might Be Drunk” podcast.→ URL TBD
Producer / Side MicChuckGives time signals, closes the episode, plugs his own podcast Funbearable and a creative project. The “Rick Pooping” bit energy.→ Funbearable Podcast
Kids’ HairdresserRosieOwner/stylist at Rosie’s kids’ hair salon inside a Tribeca toy store. Fire-truck chair, Bluey on TV, first-haircut certificate and a lock of hair in a bag. Joe’s go-to for Marty.→ URL TBD
Green Room ComicsDerek, Reggie, Briggins, Onika, Luis LopezComics hanging at The Stand during the armpit vs leg hair debate. Represent diverse positions. All heavy weed smokers in the green room.→ Various

06Sponsors & Products
BCBlueChew Gold
Chewable ED prescription tablet — 4-in-1 formula, dissolves under the tongue, works in as little as 15 minutes. Mark endorses using it every few days “just for fun.” Monthly subscription service.
BlueChew.comTUESDAYS— 10% off first month  ·  ~29:00
SHOShopify
Powers approximately 10% of US e-commerce and millions of businesses globally. Hundreds of templates and built-in marketing tools for anyone launching or scaling a store.
shopify.com/tuesdays$1/month trial ·  ~31:00
KALKalshi
Largest prediction market in the US. Peer-to-peer trading on real events: March Madness, Netflix #1 movie, Trump’s Mar-a-Lago trips, alien confirmation before 2027.
kalshi.com/r/TUESDAYTUESDAY— $10 bonus when you deposit & trade $10  ·  ~48:00

07Stories & Anecdotes
★ Star Moment
“So Fresh and So Spleen” — The Bar Stabbing
Joe List  ·  ~23:00
A drunk college-age guy dances with someone’s girlfriend at the Big Easy bar, gets into a scuffle, and is stabbed in the spleen without realizing it. He tries to cab home, only discovering the wound when the driver notices blood everywhere. Emergency surgery: spleen removed. This story is the origin of the episode title.
Alcohol and adrenaline can completely mask serious trauma. After any bar fight or impact, seek medical evaluation even if you “feel fine” — organ damage can be silent and permanent.
★ Star Moment
The Historic Double-Barrel Fart
Mark Normand  ·  ~09:00
Mid-conversation, Mark unleashes a legendary double fart on mic. The crew erupts. They declare it “historic” and joke about whether he may have accidentally soiled himself (“brown gum” underwear moment). It becomes the comedic centerpiece of the first half and spawned a flood of listener comments.
Some podcast moments transcend the topic. This is one of them.
Story
Muslim Joke vs. Hulu Executives
Mark Normand  ·  ~14:00–17:00
Hulu asks Mark to submit promo clips for his new special. Then a big conference call: they want to remove a Muslim joke from social media clips, citing prior bomb threats and death threats sent to another comic over a similar joke. Mark agrees — but only on the condition that executives verbally admit “there are dangerous people” on the call. They eventually do.
Platforms make content decisions driven by risk, not values. Negotiate on your own terms — and push for transparency about what’s really driving the decision.
Story
Mardi Gras Lost-Car Confession
Mark Normand  ·  ~33:00
Mark borrows his parents’ car for Mardi Gras, gets blackout drunk, can’t find it, panics it’s been stolen, calls his parents. His dad quickly circles the block and locates it exactly where Mark left it. Dad confronts Mark about drunk driving. Mark is banned from driving the car again.
Secret partying with family property has real costs. Alcohol plus bad memory is a recipe for unnecessary panic and eroded trust.
Story
Car Stolen Outside the Comedy Connection
Joe List  ·  ~39:00
Joe’s Buick gets stolen outside the Comedy Connection after a show. His dad drives into Boston at midnight to help file a police report, then still has to drive both Joe and mentor Lamont Price all the way to Revere. The near-silent, racially charged car ride became comedy legend.
Early career star-struck enthusiasm can impose unfair burdens on family. Logistics and gratitude both matter when people show up for you at midnight.
Story
Claire Danes Haircut Mis-ID at Rosie’s
Joe List  ·  ~59:00
Joe walks into Rosie’s kids’ salon — inside a Tribeca toy store, fire-truck barber chair, Bluey on the TV — without an appointment. He spots a woman sitting next to a child and asks if she’s free to cut his son Marty’s hair. She’s Claire Danes. He doesn’t realize this until Sarah tells him outside. He then keeps running into her at the playground without recognizing her.
Pay attention to context before making assumptions. Celebrity neighborhoods change the math on what “ordinary moment” actually means.
Story
Bagel World Stare-Down & Pepper Spray
Mark Normand (with Sal)  ·  ~1:05:00
Mark and Sal are eating at a Bagel World window table when a man walks up and stands silently staring at them — no words, just staring. Sal immediately reaches for pepper spray. Mark escalates verbally. Staff eventually remove the man and inform them: he does this eight times a day at that exact table. It’s just his thing.
In NYC, bizarre behavior is often habitual rather than threatening. Situational awareness matters, but so does not immediately reaching for weapons.
Story
Marty’s First Haircut Ceremony
Joe List  ·  ~1:02:00
After the Claire Danes chaos, Joe and Sarah do eventually get Marty’s first haircut at Rosie’s properly. The salon gives a certificate, saves a lock of hair in a little bag, and makes it a full ceremony. Joe gushes about it and jokes about presenting the lock of hair at Marty’s future Oscar ceremony.
Deliberately marking milestones builds family lore. Turn ordinary firsts into mini-ceremonies — they become the stories you tell forever.

08Key Concepts & Ideas
Streaming Platform Risk Management & “Dangerous Jokes” ~14:00Platforms like Hulu fear violent backlash over jokes about sensitive groups. The solution isn’t banning the joke — it’s separating where it lives. Keep it in the long-form special (where you can’t easily clip or comment) but remove it from social promo clips that invite pile-ons and sharing out of context.
Virtue Signaling vs. Lived Behavior ~17:00People publicly proclaim allyship or love for groups while their real-world behavior — where they live, what they fear, how they act — tells a different story. Mark’s demand that Hulu execs “say the thing out loud” exposes this gap: they were acting on fear while maintaining a virtuous stance.
Algorithmic Moderation & Context Blindness ~20:00Automated systems flag words like “Nazi” without understanding whether the speaker is condemning or endorsing them. YouTube is compared to The Wizard of Oz — a mysterious wizard behind a curtain making decisions no one can see or challenge. The result: comics self-censor or avoid topics entirely.
Shadow Banning as an Easy Excuse ~20:00Some creators immediately blame shadow bans when content underperforms, rather than asking whether the content itself might just not be good. Joe’s “We live in Baton Rouge — no one’s punking you, Jeff” is the counter: most underperformance is craft, not conspiracy.
Ambulance vs. Uber Cost Tradeoff ~23:00Ambulances can cost $5,000+; ride-share apps technically forbid emergency medical transport to avoid liability. The workaround: set your destination to a restaurant next to the hospital (“Arby’s, then take a left”). Dark comedy, but reflects a real and broken system.
Private Security After BLM ~20:00After BLM, many cops retired early. The result: wealthy people hired private security, while the public — who needed those cops more — had less protection. Joe compares it to porn vs OnlyFans: workers leaving abusive institutional systems for better-paid direct-to-client alternatives.
Road Isolation as a Professional Feature ~42:00For headlining comics, touring isn’t just performing — it’s focused creative time away from NYC’s social demands. The road lets you control who you hang with, how long, and when. Early-career excitement for long hangs eventually gives way to efficiency and deliberate rest.
Weed Tolerance vs. Anxiety Spirals ~50:00Some comics smoke weed incessantly for hours and function perfectly on stage. Others — like Mark — hit a 4-minute window before paranoia and self-loathing kick in. The divide is real and has nothing to do with willpower. Mark respects but doesn’t emulate the heavy smokers.
Armpit Hair vs. Leg Hair — The Body Hair Debate ~53:00Mark’s hot yoga instructor’s armpit hair sparks a green room debate at The Stand: which is more off-putting on women, armpit hair or full leg hair? Key variables: visibility during sex, smell/sweat, political statement vs neglect, and ethnic/cultural background. The group never fully resolves it.

09Action Items & Takeaways
Major UndertakingNegotiate With Platforms Before CutsPrepare lines in advance. Know what compromise you’ll accept and what you need in return. Mark’s move: agree to pull from socials only if execs admit the real reason.
HabitLimit Post-Show HangsCap hangs and focus on quality connections. More rest = better sets. The road already gives you the hang time you need with your feature act.
Quick WinCall Real Help for Real EmergenciesThe Arby’s Uber hack is funny but don’t actually use it for life-threatening injuries. Ambulances exist for a reason — the bill is survivable, losing a spleen might not be.
HabitCheck for Hidden Injuries After FightsAfter any bar fight or physical altercation, get checked out even if you feel fine. Adrenaline and alcohol mask internal bleeding completely.
Quick WinMark Parenting Milestones IntentionallyFirst haircuts, first shows, first words — turn them into mini-ceremonies. Rosie’s certificate and lock of hair is the model. These become the stories you tell for decades.
HabitStop Blaming Shadow Bans FirstWhen content underperforms, evaluate quality and promotion before assuming platform suppression. Ask honestly: is it the algorithm, or is it the content?
HabitKnow Your Weed Tolerance LimitIf you’re a Mark-type (4 minutes before paranoia) — don’t chase a Derek or Reggie tolerance level. Respect your own chemistry and don’t perform stoned.
Major UndertakingProtect Road SolitudeWhen touring, politely but firmly decline random barbecues and hangs with distant acquaintances. There is no upside. Road time is precious creative and restorative time.

10Media Referenced
TVMy So-Called LifeWinnie Holzman · ~59:00 · Joe’s last memory of Claire Danes’ work before seeing her in personAmazon
FilmRomeo + Juliet (1996)Baz Luhrmann · ~59:00 · Another early Claire Danes vehicle Joe rememberedAmazon
TVHomeland~59:00 · Called “Homo Land” jokingly; used to remind listeners Claire Danes is a current major starAmazon
PodcastWe Might Be Drunk~1:05:00 · Mark records there with Sal before the Bagel World incidentPodcast
PodcastFunbearable (Chuck’s Show)~1:08:00 · Chuck plugs it at the episode close; invites TWS fans to check it outPodcast
PodcastTuesdays with Stories! #648The show itself · Full episode runtime 1:02:11 · Complete transcriptWatch →

11Best Clip Opportunities
1Muslim Joke vs. Hulu Executives”Hulu asked me to cut my Muslim joke… I had one condition.” · ~14:00–17:00Highest Potential
2BlueChew Gold Wild Ad Read”The most honest ED ad read you’ll ever hear.” · ~29:00Sponsor Tie-in
3Armpit vs. Leg Hair Debate”We finally settle the armpit vs leg hair debate.” · ~53:00–56:00Viral Debate
4Ambulance vs. Uber Hospital Hack”You put Arby’s, then just take a left into the ER.” · ~23:00Life Hack
5″So Fresh and So Spleen” Bar Stabbing”He thought he was just drunk… then found out he’d lost his spleen.” · ~23:00Gripping Story
6Weed Tolerance Spiral — “Oh No, Childhood””I eat a nibble of an edible… I’m in bed like ‘Oh no, childhood.'” · ~50:00Highly Shareable