BERT KREISCHER – Robots, GROK, stitched up gums, burning buses, butt wipes, and yes even some poetry! | Harland Highway

• 0:00 Cold open: butt wipes on the face, the theme song, and a Mystery Men / Trix rabbit mix-up.
• 4:00 Harland’s multitasker award for Wingman, then “Bubble Wrap” arrives with stitched gums and a micro-dosing-tiramisu story.
• 8:40 Louie Anderson’s call telling Bert to stop cursing, Sunday shows at the Comedy Store, and the baseball bat behind the gum surgery.
• 14:40 Cujo, rewatched, and Harland’s last visit with Rodney Dangerfield at UCLA.
• 21:10 Safari lions, dream tombstones, goodwill listening, and pushing back on Saving Private Ryan.
• 29:12 Bert tries a brand-new joke, then Harland’s Tesla Grok riffs on Bert and names him Buttercup McGinty.
• 37:20 AI friends, an AI Tom Segura, Bert’s daughter Ila as a grade-schooler, and Harland’s 103-year-old Uncle Bill.
• 48:00 Bert’s dad, a Joey Diaz edible at Easter, and the cardiologist visit that changed their relationship.
• 58:20 Bert’s daughters, a summer of nonstop partying, a blood clot, and learning to drink differently.
• 1:07:20 Phil Hendrie, Charles Kuralt, alphabet pasta, butt-wipe skincare, and Harbling.
• 1:13:40 Words from a Wooden Shoe: a Tampa birdbath heist at gunpoint, and a stranger in Bert’s front yard.
• 1:20:40 Harland reads the poem he wrote for Bert, then Jim Morrison, the tour, the bus fire, and goodbye.

Mystery Men — the superhero comedy Harland auditioned for. Amazon 0:58

Trix — the cereal from Harland’s award-winning Trix rabbit commercial. Amazon 1:25

Wingman — the movie Harland wrote, directed, edited, and starred in. Amazon 4:09

Louie Anderson stand-up — Bert and Blake Casper watched one of Louie’s first specials every weekend on VHS. Amazon 9:08

Cujo — rewatched, with a debate over how much of it is the dog at the car. Amazon 14:41

The Walking Dead — a zombie joke about Harland’s Rodney story. Amazon 19:00

Dumb and Dumber — and RocketMan, from Harland’s imagined obituary. Amazon · RocketMan: Amazon 22:32

The Revenant — and Legends of the Fall, Bert’s picture of going out fighting. Amazon · Legends of the Fall: Amazon 24:22

Saving Private Ryan — the beach scene Bert would have argued with. Amazon 26:10

Bat Out of Hell — how Bert came into the studio. Amazon 30:37

Grok — the AI in Harland’s Tesla that jokes, reads poems, and nicknames Bert. Official site 31:14

The Road Not Taken — the Robert Frost poem Grok read him on the way to the gym. Amazon 31:38

Neuralink — in the talk about downloading people’s memories. Wikipedia 46:02

Orville Redenbacher’s popcorn — a joke about the edible. Amazon 53:41

The Phil Hendrie Show — the late-night radio Harland falls asleep to. Wikipedia 1:07:27

On the Road with Charles Kuralt — the old Sunday-morning series. Amazon 1:09:07

Alphabet pasta — like the can that spelled out a sentence in the bit. Amazon 1:09:37

Flushable wipes — like the butt wipes that end up as face wipes in the cold open. Amazon 1:11:42

The Doors — Jim Morrison’s band. Amazon 1:29:54

Permission to Party World Tour — Bert’s tour (Philly, Chicago, Texas and more), with a winter run to come. Official site 1:32:40

Lava lamps — sitting next to the open deep fryer on Bert’s tour bus before it burned down. Amazon 1:33:45

Deep fryer — the open fryer by Bert’s bed that Harland figures started the bus fire. Amazon 1:33:50

Anchorman — the scene Bert thinks of with the knives on his old tour bus. Amazon 1:34:09

Carrie — the floating knives. Amazon 1:34:27

Bertcast — plus 2 Bears, 1 Cave and Something’s Burning, Bert’s podcasts. Bertcast: Official site · 2 Bears, 1 Cave: YouTube · Something’s Burning: Official site 1:35:05

Free Bert (Netflix) — new episodes coming in 2027. Netflix 1:35:05

The Comedy Store (Official site) — where Bert did Sunday shows with Louie Anderson. 9:55

Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center — where Harland said goodbye to Rodney. 20:40

Griffith Park — Grok’s low-key option for fall hikes. 35:00

Museum of Jurassic Technology — Grok’s pick for something weird to do in Culver City. 35:20

Toronto — where Harland’s dad grew up. 43:32

Bayshore Boulevard, Tampa — the getaway route in the birdbath story. 1:15:35

• Cash App (11:20) — Cash App · sponsor your teen; new customers can earn $10 with code family10 at sign-up and sending $5 to a friend within 14 days (terms apply).
• Harbling (Harland house ad) (1:13:05) — harbling.com · Harland’s hand-drawn shirts, plus prints when originals sell out · no code.
• Cameo (Harland house ad, post-roll) (1:40:43) — Cameo · personalized video messages from Harland · no code.