Public Figures · A Nateland Podcast · Episode #9
Meats with Greg Warren
Barbecue, Brisket, Road Stories & Hot Chicken Lore
▶ Watch on YouTube
⭐ Top Quotes
- "You don't have to spell toilet to use one." — Greg Warren [00:45:18]
- "Boy, I tell you, this is a gold mine." — Dusty [00:49:44]
- "Talk about uncomfortable… I was at the Little Rock Looney Bin." — Greg [00:41:49]
📚 Books Mentioned
- To Kill a Mockingbird — Harper Lee
- Lonesome Dove — Larry McMurtry
- Roots — Alex Haley
- The Thorn Birds — Colleen McCullough
- We're Having a Good Time — Dusty Slay
MUD\WTR mudwtr.com/NATELAND · Code: NATELAND
iRestore irestore.com/NATELAND · Code: NATELAND
Superpower Superpower.com · Code: NATE (20% off)
Helix Sleep helixsleep.com/nate · 20% off Apr 1–16
Episode Overview
Greg Warren joins Dusty Slay, Aaron Weber, and Brian Bates for a deep dive into barbecue styles, steak cuts, and odd meats while weaving in road stories from clubs, festivals, cruises, and church gigs. Whether it's debating Texas brisket versus Kansas City burnt ends or sharing the origin story of Nashville hot chicken, the conversation stays fired up for the full 111 minutes.
Between sponsor reads, the crew riffs on catchphrases with merch potential, the documentary Comedian, Orny Adams's real-life personality, and Tom Hanks's uncanny knack for heroic roles. Greg's philosophy — "You don't have to spell toilet to use one" — becomes the episode's unlikely thesis: you don't need to be a pitmaster to know great barbecue.
The episode closes with a tour of illegal meats (eagles, bushmeat, lungs), yacht rock credibility debates, church jokes about Chick-fil-A, and a medical emergency comedy bit before everyone plugs upcoming tour dates and says goodnight with the show's signature sign-offs.
Top Quotes & Soundbites
⭐ Star Quote
"
You don't have to spell toilet to use one.
Greg Warren [00:45:18] — On loving barbecue without knowing technical terms
⭐ Star Quote
"
Boy, I tell you, this is a gold mine.
Dusty Slay [00:49:44] — Reacting to the "Boy, I tell you" catchphrase merch potential
"
Talk about uncomfortable… I was at the Little Rock Looney Bin.
Greg Warren [00:41:49] — Reframing Seinfeld's "uncomfortable" vibe in Comedian
"
If you let them put sauce on there, they go wild with it.
Greg Warren [00:39:18] — On resisting automatically sauced barbecue
"
I'm going to capture the whole English language before it's done.
Dusty Slay [00:48:58] — On trademarking everyday phrases as catchphrases
"
I was like, 'Well, I'm just going to go to Chipotle and then not talk about it.'
Greg Warren [00:42:58] — On dodging locals who shame non-approved restaurant choices
"
It's like you get the best and the worst: Wagyu with Ragu on it.
Dusty Slay [00:55:20] — On over-sauced premium cuts
"
If the guy's going around with seven horses worth of horse meat, that's for distribution, not consumption.
Greg Warren [00:23:00] — On the horse meat legality tangent
Timestamp Directory
People Mentioned
Guest
Greg Warren
Stand-up comedian, barbecue obsessive, and host of The Consumers podcast. Shares road stories from the Little Rock Loony Bin, Wright's Barbecue recognition, and his definitive brisket philosophy.
→ Greg Warren on AmazonHost
Dusty Slay
Stand-up headliner, Nashville hot chicken skeptic, and book author. Leads the episode, delivers all sponsor reads, and promotes his forthcoming "We're Having a Good Time" book.
→ dustyslay.comHost
Aaron Weber
Nashville-based stand-up, co-host of Public Figures and Nateland. Introduces Town House FlipSides crackers to the conversation and picks up the steakhouse tab.
→ aaronwebercomedy.comHost
Brian Bates
"Comedy missionary" stand-up who details the Connie Smith hand mishap, the Filet-O-Fish origin story, Nashville hot chicken history, and repeated audience medical emergencies at his tapings.
→ brianbatescomedy.comReferenced
Nate Bargatze
Nateland founder; "Big Dumb Eyes" tour dates plugged for DC, Worcester, and Boston. Not present but referenced throughout.
→ nateland.comReferenced
Connie Smith
Country legend and Grand Ole Opry regular. Brian accidentally placed his hand on hers in the dark wings after his set — one of the episode's funniest stories.
→ WikipediaReferenced
Jerry Seinfeld
His 2002 documentary Comedian is discussed at length, including the commentary track and Orny Adams's intense portrayal and how it made young comics anxious.
→ Comedian on AmazonReferenced
Robert Duvall
Actor praised for his role as Augustus McCrae in Lonesome Dove and as Boo Radley in To Kill a Mockingbird. Greg performs his Days of Thunder impression live.
→ Lonesome Dove on AmazonReferenced
John Heffron
Comedian featured in Nateland Presents: The Showcase Season 4.
→ John Heffron on AmazonReferenced
Derek Stroop
Comedian with special Nostalgic promoted as "great" during Nateland news block.
→ Nostalgic on AmazonReferenced
Tom Hanks
Discussed via a listener's paintball story; the group riffs through his long run of heroic roles (Sully, Mr. Rogers, Captain Phillips, Walt Disney, Colonel Tom Parker).
→ Tom Hanks movies on AmazonReferenced
Orny Adams
Comedian portrayed as intense in Seinfeld's Comedian; the hosts confirm he is actually friendly and funny in real life — a reassuring correction.
→ Wikipedia
Sponsors & Products
MUD\WTR
Functional coffee alternative with lion's mane, cordyceps, cacao, chai, and only 45mg caffeine. Designed to give you coffee-ritual energy without the jitters or crash. New "local coffee blend" also available.
iRestore Elite
At-home laser hair growth helmet with 300 lasers and 200 LEDs. Use while watching TV or listening to podcasts. Dusty's wife Abigail uses it and reports noticeably thicker hair.
Superpower
Annual health membership: a licensed professional comes to your home or lab for a simple blood draw covering 100+ biomarkers — heart, liver, thyroid, hormones, metabolism, vitamins, and toxins. App breaks down results by organ system.
Helix Sleep
Premium mattresses with 120-night sleep trial and lifetime warranty. Dusty reports 82% deep sleep increase and wakes up drooling — the highest endorsement possible. Spring savings event runs April 1–16.
Stories & Anecdotes
The Connie Smith Hand Mishap
After a strong Grand Ole Opry set, Brian walks off into the dark wing and mistakes 84-year-old country legend Connie Smith's hand resting on a stanchion for a handshake. He gently lays his hand on hers, realizes the error, pats it politely, and walks off — joking that Marty Stuart (Connie's husband) probably wanted to fight him.
Lesson: Stage lights and automatic assumptions can lead to deeply awkward but harmless moments — and great stories.
The Opry Mic Handoff
Greg recalls leaving the Opry stage and handing the host the microphone instead of shaking her outstretched hand — as if there were only one mic available to share. The moment became a running clip and in-group joke.
Lesson: Small stage protocol misunderstandings create the best recurring lore.
Wright's Barbecue Recognition
At Wright's Barbecue in Little Rock, a worker recognizes Greg from behind the counter, yells something to a colleague, and they comp 50% of his order. Greg attributes it entirely to his barbecue jokes circulating in the barbecue industry — making him an unofficial "industry legend."
Lesson: Niche jokes can build unexpected industry credibility and very real perks.
Charley's Steak House Tab
The night before a cruise, Aaron books the group at Charley's Steak House in Tampa. Brian spends the meal anxiously calculating the bill. Aaron picks up the entire tab — and Greg then awkwardly offers to "help with the tip" as Brian tosses in a little.
Lesson: Generosity among comics creates goodwill and endless bits about who really paid.
Filet-O-Fish vs The Hula Burger
A Cincinnati McDonald's franchisee created the Filet-O-Fish to serve Catholic customers during Lent who wouldn't buy beef on Fridays. Ray Kroc countered with his own invention: the Hula Burger — a pineapple slice with cheese. The Filet-O-Fish "dominated" on test day and became a permanent menu item that accounts for 25% of McDonald's sales during Lent.
Lesson: Local franchisee innovation can beat HQ ideas and permanently reshape national menus.
Prince's Hot Chicken: Born from Spite
The origin of Nashville hot chicken: a girlfriend, furious at her partner for staying out all night, loaded his morning chicken with cayenne and spices to punish him. He loved it. He opened Prince's Hot Chicken Shack and the rest is history — inspiring Hattie B's, Zaxby's Nashville Hot, and a nationwide craze.
Lesson: Accidental product innovation can emerge from personal conflict.
The Quatman's Chicken Sandwich Incident
After months of his friend hyping the legendary Quatman's burger in Cincinnati, Greg orders a chicken sandwich instead. He later describes it as "not very good" — absolutely devastating his friend who had built the whole trip around Greg experiencing the burger.
Lesson: Disrespecting a friend's favorite local spot, even accidentally, leaves a mark.
Key Concepts & Ideas
Brisket as the Benchmark
[00:37:15 / 01:09:50]
Greg argues brisket is the true measure of any barbecue joint — it's easy to dry out or make too fatty, unlike sausage which is forgiving. Texas is the gold standard; Kansas City excels at burnt ends. How a place handles brisket tells you everything about the pitmaster's skill.
Dry Rub vs Heavy Sauce
[00:39:18]
Greg and Dusty agree: always try barbecue without sauce first. Automatic saucing masks meat quality. Nashville spots are called out for over-saucing brisket by default. "If you let them put sauce on there, they go wild with it."
"Tough Rooms" as Testing Grounds
[00:41:49]
Greg uses demanding clubs like the Little Rock Loony Bin as proving grounds before recording a special or album. If the hour works for a difficult crowd with no built-in ticket-buyers, it's ready. Sold-out shows give false positives.
Catchphrases as Comic Branding
[00:46:40]
Dusty jokes about trademarking "We're having a good time" and "Boy, I tell you" — ordinary phrases that become audience greetings and merch hooks. The risk of overuse is real, but organic catchphrases build brand recall faster than any marketing strategy.
Myoglobin vs Blood in Steak
[00:52:00]
The red liquid in a rare steak is myoglobin — a protein that stores oxygen in muscle tissue — not blood. All blood is removed during processing. This means rare steak isn't "bleeding" on your plate.
Illegal Meats in the United States
[01:22:10]
Valerie's lookup reveals that sea turtles, migratory birds (eagles, songbirds), whales, seals, dogs, cats, bushmeat (bats, monkeys, antelope), beef lungs, and shark fins are illegal to sell or eat in the US. Horse meat exists in a gray zone. This triggers a lengthy hypothetical about shelter overcrowding.
Action Items & Takeaways
Quick Win
Order brisket first at any new barbecue spot
It's the true test of pitmaster skill. Assess it before moving to ribs or sausage.
Quick Win
Always ask for sauce on the side
Taste the meat first. Sauce on the side lets you control application and detect quality under the glaze.
Quick Win
Try smoked bologna if the classics are sold out
Dusty discovered it at Martin's when everything else was gone — called it "outstanding."
Habit
Swap one daily coffee for a lower-caffeine option
MUD\WTR-style mushroom blends reduce jitters while keeping the ritual. One week trial recommended.
Habit
Add passive hair care during screen time
Wear iRestore Elite while watching TV or listening to podcasts. Zero extra time required.
Habit
Develop an organic, repeatable catchphrase
Dusty's "We're having a good time" grew from natural speech. Brands built on real phrases outlast manufactured ones.
Major
Get a comprehensive annual blood panel
100+ biomarkers via Superpower gives actionable data on heart, liver, hormones, metabolism, and vitamins. Replaces vague doctor visits.
Major
Test your hour in a tough room before filming
Greg's strategy: if material works at the Loony Bin with no built-in ticket buyers, it's ready for a special or CD.
Media Referenced
Book
Amazon →
To Kill a Mockingbird
Harper Lee · 1960 — Boo Radley, Scout, Atticus, and Greg's childhood nickname "Boo Bradley"
Book
Amazon →
Lonesome Dove
Larry McMurtry · Also a 1989 CBS miniseries — Robert Duvall as Augustus McCrae
Miniseries
Amazon →
Roots
Alex Haley adaptation · 1977 ABC — cited as a landmark long-form TV miniseries
Miniseries
Amazon →
The Thorn Birds
Colleen McCullough adaptation · 1983 ABC — long-form miniseries era companion to Lonesome Dove
Documentary
Amazon →
Comedian
Jerry Seinfeld · 2002 — commentary track discussed, Orny Adams's portrayal, and the effect on young comics
Film
Amazon →
Days of Thunder
Tony Scott · 1990 — Greg performs Robert Duvall's "Cole, get out of that race car" impression
TV Show
Amazon →
Highway to Heaven
Michael Landon · Referenced for the sidekick with an Oakland A's hat; Merlin Olsen connection
Book
Amazon →
We're Having a Good Time
Dusty Slay · Pre-order now, releases November 10 — Greg wants a signed copy for fan Liz
Best Clip Opportunities
1
Why Brisket is the Only Test That Matters
[00:37:15–00:38:10]
Greg's definitive take — broad BBQ gear affiliate opportunity. Hook: "Why brisket is the true test of any barbecue joint."
2
MUD\WTR: Coffee Ritual Without the Crash
[00:10:35–00:11:15]
Classic problem-solution structure. High product margin, sponsored alignment. Hook: "I love coffee… but it ruins my morning."
3
iRestore: The Laziest Hairline Fix
[00:39:57–00:40:25]
Strong "while doing nothing" appeal. Visual device demos perform well in short-form. Hook: "The laziest way to work on your hairline."
4
Stop Leaving Your Doctor with No Answers
[00:47:52–00:48:35]
Taps into healthcare frustration with high conversion potential. Hook: "Why your doctor's 'drink more water' isn't enough."
5
Don't Sauce My Meat
[00:39:18–00:39:58]
Relatable BBQ rant. Leads naturally to dry rub and sauce product recommendations.
6
Helix: This Is How You Know Your Mattress Works
[00:53:57–00:54:05]
Vivid drooling image, memorable, tied to April 1–16 sale. Short and punchy.
7
The Sleeper BBQ Item: Smoked Bologna
[01:16:30–01:17:10]
Novel twist on BBQ — high curiosity and cheap to try. Hook: "The BBQ item you're sleeping on."