Back in the Basement – Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast with Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast · Show Notes Back in the Basement! H. Foley & Kevin Ryan 1:09:01 Runtime Patreon Q&A Episode 2 Sponsors Top Products & Affiliate Links 👖 The Perfect Jean — Code: GARBAGE15 (15% off) 🛒 Shopify — $1/month trial 🍕 Franzone’s Pizza — Conshohocken, PA 🍦 Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie 🍦 Turkey Hill Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Best Quotes Preview ⭐ “You killed my dog!” — H. Foley ⭐ “Chicken so good you’ll answer an application.” — Kevin Ryan ⭐ “Two scoops. What am I, a bowl of raisin bran?” — H. Foley You’ll Love This If… Dysfunctional-but-loving family dynamics Blue-collar mall stories and suburban dad life Patreon garbage debates (plungers, buckets, baking sheets) 10+Products 20+People 25+Topics 7Patreon Q&As 1. Episode Overview The hosts are literally back in Foley’s basement after flood and leak damage wrecked their newer studio — and they lean into the chaos with stories about insurance games, Easter candy atrocities, a deeply anxious mall massage, and suburban dad problems. They mix two sponsor reads with personal stories that run the full range from Uber Eats ice cream emergencies to plunger placement philosophy. The back half shifts into Patreon “Are You Garbage?” questions, where Kevin and Foley debate baking sheets vs. cookie sheets, appropriate plunger storage, orange Home Depot buckets as trash cans, faking pink eye at work, and the legitimacy of a hands-free steering alignment test. It’s a pure family episode — no outside guest — and one of their most relaxed, story-driven installments. Flooded studio & basement comeback Foley’s mom Patty & Easter candy Mall massage saga at Serene Blue Suburban homeowner problems Everyday class markers & kitchen gear Patreon garbage hypotheticals 2. Top Quotes & Soundbites ” You killed my dog! H. Foley · ~00:28:10 · Combat/service dog emotional riff ” Chicken so good you’ll answer an application. Kevin Ryan · ~01:01:40 · On loving Wings To Go so much you end up working there ” Two scoops. What am I, a bowl of raisin bran? H. Foley · ~00:09:00 · On Patty’s inadequate ice cream portioning ” You leave it there so the other ones know. There’s a wolf in the house. Kevin Ryan · ~00:55:00 · On skid marks as dominance display ” This is comedy purposes and we’re on a comeback. H. Foley · ~00:14:50 · Justifying indulgent Uber Eats order while down 75 pounds ” I was nine doing structural work. No permit. H. Foley · ~00:30:40 · On building childhood forts ” I should be one huge pink eye. H. Foley · ~00:34:50 · On his poop-adjacent lifestyle 3. Timestamp Directory 00:00:00 Back on the Block tour & leak setup ★Road dates + basement flood announcement 00:01:15 Aunt Tooty’s slip-and-fall insurance play Neck brace waiting for the adjuster 00:04:05 Basement jammed up & G.I. Joe toys at risk Steam cleaning, sanding, hopes for one-time basement ep 00:06:00 Crisis eating & neighbors’ gift baskets Emotional eating, expecting community support 00:07:40 Patty, Easter candy bowl from hell & Franzone’s Pizza ★Black licorice jelly beans, pill candies, sweet pie pickup 00:10:10 Ice cream fight: two scoops vs man-sized servings NCIS together, portion battle with Patty 00:12:30 Turkey Hill & Uber Eats Ben & Jerry’s rescue Ordering a pint + French toast sizzly to meet minimum 00:16:00 Hidden Easter candy & candy as bear bait Patty’s suspected decoy candy bowl theory 00:17:46 AD: The Perfect Jean ★Code GARBAGE15 · 15% off · stretchy yoga-ready denim 00:19:16 AD: Shopify & AYG merch $1/month trial · shopify.com/garbage 00:20:39 Tampa weekend recap & pre-trip stress Mostly sold-out shows; Friday loosened things up 00:24:00 Mall massage saga: Serene Blue, Oxford Valley Mall ★Service dogs, sting fears, empty mall, closed doors 00:31:00 Inside the massage & “please keep underwear on” sign Hot-stone treatment, heavy tip, joke about next time 00:36:00 Diarrhea on the plane & Zapbound side effects AirPods “defragging” his brain; weight-loss drug blame 00:41:00 Patreon family episode announcement Q&A mode begins; join Patreon to get on air 00:43:30 Baking sheet vs cookie sheet vs sheet pan ★Nicholas asks; ridged vs flat; “cookie sheet” = trashy/nostalgic 00:47:40 Old kitchen gear & sentimental bowls 40-year-old utensils; silver mixing bowls Foley won’t give up 00:53:10 Plunger placement & skid-mark etiquette Main bath vs garage; toilet brush debate; wolf in the house 00:57:40 Pink eye faking & self-inflicted infections Faking illness to leave shifts; cart duty backfire 01:02:20 Takeout container hierarchy: styrofoam vs foil Wings To Go styrofoam; tinfoil ducks = high-end 01:05:50 Orange Home Depot buckets, tool caddies & steering test ★Bucket as bathroom trash; alignment test; broken headphones; sign-off 4. People Mentioned Co-Host / Primary Storyteller H. Foley New York–based stand-up comic. Drives the basement flood story, Patty visits, mall massage saga, treehouse debate, and most Patreon answers. Co-Host Kevin Ryan Stand-up comic. Reads Patreon questions, riffs on class markers, challenges Foley’s logic, and adds his own home/family experiences. Foley’s Mom Patty Central to the Easter candy and ice cream segments. Sets out a candy bowl of “black licorice jelly beans and pill-like candies.” Watches NCIS and David Muir nightly. Foley’s Aunt Aunt Tooty Her slip-and-fall lawsuit settlement funded the studio addition. Now jokingly depicted lying in a neck brace to maximize the leak insurance claim. Foley’s Wife / Partner Denise Lives in the suburbs (the Burb). Mentioned in the treehouse planning discussion and tree work consultation. Jokingly accused of “red-pilling” Patty via Jesse Watters. Foley’s Child Kip The treehouse debate centers on building something for him in their backyard. Foley wrestles with DIY vs. hiring a pro to give Kip a better experience than he had. Producer / Crew Luke On the couch in the basement, helps with new equipment. Confirms “sheet pan” as the correct term during the baking sheet debate. Producer / Crew Diesel Tech side of the operation; working on equipment upgrades; laughs along with bits throughout the episode. Historical Figure / Quoted John Adams “I study war and politics so my children can study poetry and

