Mike Lawrence & Mike Vecchione on We Might Be Drunk | Full Episode Notes

[Music] [Applause] [Music]

We're back. We're joined by a very old and good friend, the hilarious Mike Lawrence.

Hey, what's up? This is great. Mike. Hey, how are you? Maybe my oldest comedy Well, Veer is the

first guy I met in comedy. You might have been second or third. Veer's up there for me. Oldest, too. Oh, yeah. He was around.

Mo Pitkins. Mo Pitkins. The Pit. I walked by Auto Shrunken Head the other night. I was just going to

Oh yeah, I was going to bars with Todd Barry, which I don't know which is sadder.

We walked by and I was like, "Fuck, that was a bad room. What do What's what I got to do to get booked around here."

Yeah. I remember I remember you coming with Zack Sims and I I've told people the story of

He was funnier at first. He just worked so hard and found your

voice. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Well, he's he's still around. He's still cooking. But uh he Zach had that funny joke about uh how

he's always the one when he goes out with his friends. Put the goat down.

I love that bit. Yeah, he did funny [ __ ] He had a great joke about his stepdad had a gun on his hip and he's like he

also had an extra clip, you know, for all the gunplay. He's going to I'm butchering it, but it was

Yeah. Yeah. And you know, well, we didn't do him justice there, but No, no, but he and uh

everyone in the comments like, "Fuck that guy." He's also alive. Yeah, he is alive. He started before me, so he knew how to

do comedy and I was uh trying to But you guys lived together and you traveled together. Well, Sean Patton

came first. Yeah, he was the mecca. Hey, go go go follow Shawn Patton. He's there. He's the beacon of hope.

He's the Yeah, he's the the best ever, I think, in I love Sean of like not not of all time, but of like

guys that I came up with and worked with. Unbelievable. Great story. I think like you know those

cabin sets and stuff like I don't I don't think anyone else where I was like I don't think I'll ever be

that good like like Sean was that guy for me. Yeah. New stuff every week. He would command that room. We'd all stand back

there and it was a judgy room of comedians and he still killed with all of us.

Yeah. Beast. I'm I'm get like whatever people say about Kenison at the store that that was

padded at cabin for me. Well, he's one of those guys too. kind of like a Rory Scoville where you can't

capture him with a camera. No, you kind of have to be there which is a a problem for a comedian because you want to blow

up and get exposure. I remember they did that article on him like how late night sets didn't capture him and it's you can't you can't put a

he doesn't have any bits that are five minutes. Yeah, that's true. Well, his whole thing is he loses you

and then he gets you. Yes. But he loses you for a long time

and in five minutes you just lose. Right. you can't get. So, this whole thing would be, you know,

it was amazing to watch the the hole he would dig for himself, even in front of people who knew and liked him, he would

still find a way to alienate them just to win them back. Yeah. Yeah. Which is which is a skill. I mean,

oh, it's a masterful skill. It's such a skill. It's like Yeah. the the keeping people at a distance and then the [ __ ] the hook.

And it's especially a skill when you're coming up where you just want to be liked so badly and you're like, he

doesn't care if they don't like him. that great story about uh getting thrown out of the strip club after he had the

breakup and it's this long bill, but the turn is how the guy threw him out. He's like, why are you throwing me out? He goes, I just can't have you crying in

here. But that turn is like, oh, you're just waiting for like Yeah.

What did he do? Yeah. Yeah. He had that 8minute bit about falling in love and finding the woman of his dreams. Now they're living together and

he's going to propose to her and then at the end he's like, I don't have a girlfriend. I made it all up. I think

what would be funny is you would you would see a bit and then you'd want to see it again and then he just wouldn't because he's doing something completely

brand new. I know. Yeah. And you're just like, "Oh man." Which is almost like a a bad thing. I

mean, you like you want you want to see someone hone, but that was hard in the early days if you're around the same comics. It's hard to it's hard to tweak

a bit. Totally. Totally. Cuz you're in your head, you're like, "Fuck, they're judging me for doing this bit again."

And me and Mark would see each other 10 times a week, you know, sometimes. And just and then you would then you would

like just perform for him, you know, or you perform for me because we were the only people that

would be the consistency and I wanted you to like me. And these new quefs, they have it so

easy because they can just put [ __ ] online. We had to build it in front of each other. I think there's good and bad to that.

I agree. I agree. I think it's better to build, but they don't have to go through that pain, that awkwardness.

Yeah, but you have to know who you are more quickly now. That sucks. like the wilderness years are gone of just being

able to take risk and find yourself. I love that I was at like, you know, Broadway in the comic strip cuz no one

saw me. No one who mattered saw. So I was like, I don't want comics to see. I want I I remember Mike D.

Stefano, RP Mike, hilarious guy. One of my favorite jokes ever when he had uh remember that bit he had was his agent's

like, "Fax me a bio." He's like, "Bio? I I scream at strangers in a bar for a living." What did you do before that? I

was a drug counselor. What did you do before that? I was a drug addict. What do you do before that? I was 12.

That's a great joke. But he was like, "Just hide. Just hide as long as you can. You don't want comics to see you." And then you come out of nowhere,

they'll be like, "Oh, who's this guy?" As opposed to like, you know, that's the the one issue with starting in a in a

big pond like New York where you just like people are like, "Does that guy still suck?" Like, no. Sometimes they

get better. Yeah. You'll talk about somebody and not realize that like you last saw them like

during Obama's first term. Right. Right. You're like, "Oh, he always does that thing." And I'm like, "I don't know if

he does." Yes. Dude, remember remember the night that Obama got inaugurated in 2009 and we we

went up to Harlem? Oh, yeah. You and me. And you made fun of this comic. You He

was doing sound The guy was doing sound effects. So then Norman called him police academy. Yeah. Michael Winslow.

And the guy he pulled me to the side. Oh hilarious. I remember he had a cream colored suit like a yellowish.

It wasn't by the very yellowish by the end. Yeah. And brownish. And

dude it was so And he was going to kick your ass. He was like I'll kill you [ __ ] Like you don't talk [ __ ] about me. You know he's doing act. He's like I'll [ __ ]

stab you and then I'll shoot you. Yeah. cuz the white confidence we had

that night because it was like the happiest that audience had ever been and we're like we can get away with it cuz I

remember I went up I had a great set and Norman was doing great but then he made fun of the guy and th you know those

guys it's it's not the same of like camaraderie it's like no you're taking money out of my pocket

yes but I thought hey I would say this to a white guy I'll say it to him and it was not we went up there together once right was

it Mocha's lounge or smokey smoky smoky suarez I remember one

I was bombing so bad that the odor just stands up, looks me in the eyes, and goes, "You done."

Damn, dude. Dude, I would have loved if he beat you up and as he's he's doing punching.

Yeah, the old man. Zam clap.

I'm going to automatope peel your ass. Yeah, that that Mous Lounge was wild cuz

they would let you on Yeah. And there was no rhyme or reason to it. There was no lineup or anything. Like you're on

now. You'd go up and you you'd do your thing and then if you bombed, he would [ __ ] on you

and your whole look and your whole act. Yeah. But he let anyone up. That was was

funny was we were used to the alternative places in Brooklyn and stuff where they do the first part but not the

second part. They judge you and make fun of your act, but they don't put you on stage. Yeah. He

That is the difference between white and black people, I think. Right there. They'll give you a chance. It was like quiet versus like [ __ ] you.

It was inclusive but insensitive. And it was always funny going with different white comics seeing who would

code switch and who wouldn't and it was Oh, and if and if I went with someone who co I

could never look at them the same way again. Yeah. Well, he would you would either go blacker or you'd go whiter. Those are

your options. Like, oh god, G willers. What am I doing up north? Oh, boy. You know, or you'd be like,

this [ __ ] knows what I'm talking about. Up top, man. Do you know where the magical Johnson theater is?

Oh, boss. [ __ ] Play this. Keep the car closer so I can cut him.

He's He's going blacker for sure. Yeah, he did crack. So, I'll give him a couple

couple black moments. I mean, some of the guys in the audience would become Israelites, just not the kind he is.

He had the Fat Farm shirt on. Oh my god. A real shirt is code switching.

And let's be real, doing crack is kind of code switching as well. So, sure. Sure. Yeah. I got cross colors.

Damn. What was that show, right? White Boys in the Hood. That was like a a whole thing that was just that. Yeah. Kurt Mezer, Big Jay, they all did

it. Joey Gay did it. Yeah. Damn. Then there was Apollo, too. You could do the Apollo New Talent Night. Can you

imagine if you were like a a white comic that that did well in those rooms all the time and you didn't get booked on

that show and you're like what what is there for me if I don't have this if I can't get white boys in the hood?

Well, dude, Diddy had that one too, remember? Yeah. Diddy had his own It was like Bad Boys

of Comedy. Oh, yeah. Pull that up.

Wow. Is it? I mean, I guess you're not using that credit anymore. But I guess

maybe you are. He is innocent. Detroit. He goes by the name. Innocent of trafficking.

You don't do a setup. You just lube the punchline. Thank you. Thank you.

How y'all doing, Brooklyn? Uhoh. This guy looks nervous already. You know what? I'm glad to be here, y'all. But uh I had to go to the

dentist, right, and get my partials and [ __ ] hooked up cuz one day all my teeth

just start falling the [ __ ] out. I ain't bullshitting. I was I was talking to a

[ __ ] one day and I say, "Is this a sound effects guy?" No, he was dressed better and one of them flew out.

This guy is great cuz he could be on a corner in New York just getting chained. That guy has the same smile Mark would have had if that guy punched him.

That's true. That's true. Yeah. Yeah, dude. He would zing you. He was basically kill

Tony. He was kill Smokey. Yeah. Just trash your whole act.

Yeah, dude. Mike and I are were we're were like in the process of waiting to see if we sold a show. I feel weird even

talking about it since it hasn't gone through yet, but like we've been working on a show for 18 months. Wow.

And we got Brian Cox attached and we're still having trouble. Yeah. the industry you stick.

It has been so fun working with Sam because I feel like such like a LA

sellout sherpa cuz I have I've had to like explain to him how lazy the

industry truly is. Oh, hey. Cuz you were like the most proactive guy I've ever seen. It'll be like, you know,

Monday and he's like, "They haven't called back." I'm like, "They're not going to call back for three weeks." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you do get impatient.

That's Hollywood, man. He's Jewish and he's found out there's other holidays they celebrate.

You know what's crazy is like they're just insanely lazy and you can't if you

follow these people on Instagram, you're going to want to kill yourself cuz you're like Turks and Caos again. It's a [ __ ] work week.

I know. It's crazy. That's my show money. They say we can't afford it and I'm like go to Turks or

Caos. And I saw I saw Bezos's wedding. I'm like, dude, that could have [ __ ] been three

seasons of our show. Come on. We're waiting on Amazon. We're like hoping. But

every time a spaceship goes up, that's [ __ ] eight pilots. Katy Perry,

dude. We're like waiting on it. And it's uh just to get Brian Cox attached is insane. Like we got we got him based on

He thought the script was He does the Zoom calls with us from like 11 p.m. his time. He's in Scotland.

Wow. Doing a play. So he does a full play and then he's like he's so fun in person. Like he's so

cool. I haven't seen him like but but like when you talk to him, he's just I I like this character because he is an

[ __ ] A proper [ __ ] Yes. He's supposed to play my biological father on the show. Is that's I mean

he's a terrible person in the He's my biological father, a narcissist, but we made him charming in the show. So, it's

fun. It's a fun character. What about a production company shooting it and then trying to sell it? Because I

know you guys don't want to fund it. That's probably the next step if we don't sell it. Don't go right to them. Go to someone

who could shoot it. You know, we're saying I'm impatient. It has been 18 months. Yeah. No, no, but this is TV.

It's TV, man. Amazing. Like the thing that made me really love, you know, I've I've always like been a fan of Brian Cox and like,

you know, he's in one of the best superhero movies, X2 and Super Troopers.

Yeah. You know, 25th Hour, Zodiac, he's adaptation.

We were, you know, I was watching like, you know, those Vanity Fair things where they talk about their whole career and

he was like, for years people would look at me and be like, who are you? And he's like, that doesn't happen anymore. Now I

am Logan Roy. Yes. Oh, but I remember there was like an article about him and uh Jeremy Strong.

Oh, yeah. Like the difference between method and non-method where he's like I just the camera comes on and I'm Logan,

right? And Jeremy would be like I you know he would like call him dad and stuff like

I always I always love like the the met you know the the the famous right Lawrence Olivier

Dustin Hoffman. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know that one. Well, you know, we stayed up for like 3 days. Dustin Hoffman, uh, you know, he's like,

"I have to be, you know, I'm getting tortured. I have to be a mess, you know, in the scene." And Lawrence Olivia is like, "My son, have you tried acting?"

Yeah, that's the line. Was it was Jared Jared Leto on the on the set of Su Suicide Squad, you know,

was sending like rat feces and like chicken heads and stuff. And there was an article and it was like Viola Davis

is having none of Jared Leto's [ __ ] Like she just went up to him and said, "Knock it off, Jared." Wow.

I remember remember there was a story where on the set of MorbiiUs like this is funny if you method for a bad movie.

It's like what's the point? Yeah. But apparently you don't hear about Rob Schneider going you know he really was a European jig

this time. But um you see the Andy the what is it Jim

Carrey they say and everybody hated him. Oh, dude. Milo Milos Foreman in that in

that he's like, "Jim, can can we please do another I'm not Jim. I'm Andy." And

then he and he's just like, "Okay, Andy, this guy did Amadeus and one flows over

the cuckoo's nest." I I understand like staying in an accent or something, but like staying in

character to me is it does seem a little But but the morbiest thing was, you know, before he becomes the living

vampire, he's a guy on crutches. He would use the bathroom in crutches and it would stall production for 45

minutes. Wow. And you know when you're like the producers and stuff, there's overtime and stuff like that.

There's a story about Marlon Brando doing that where he was he wanted to be cranky, so he stayed in an actual hospital bed for like six weeks and was

rude to the nurses and and you're thinking like I'm sure someone could have used that hospital bed. Yeah, hospitals are over.

What year was it? Cuz it might have been two. True. That's true. Holy [ __ ] he got fed.

Well, dude, what about the guy playing a pedophile? Does he go method? I was at a summer camp, but it's for the

role. Cox has played a pedophile, so I hope not. That's why Jeremy Strong was calling him

dead. We uh when I was with him, those boys were Jeremy Weak.

I I loved Yeah. I love interacting with him, though. He's like the coolest dude. and he uh one of my favorite parts is

like you know we're selling this trying to sell this show and we have our friend Matt who's a production guy and we we

really like him but he keeps pushing the show as you know it's it's the male biological clock and Mike and I are like

yeah yeah but there's other it's like a father son show and Matt's like it's the the male biological clock no one's done that and we're like it's like weird to

say you know with women they might be pitching to women they're going to be like and he's like no trust me so we're on a pitch and uh

and he go and we do our thing and then he goes and it's also the male biological clock. And Brian Cox goes,

"What?" He's like, "That's that's horshit. That's not That's not a thing." And I'm

just like, "Fucking Cox." That's great. He by the way, shout out to McDonald's for hiring him, too. He

seems so not McDonald'sy, but he's kind of brought like he's Scottish. He's probably a part of a

clan called the McDonald's. That's true. That's true. That's a good point. He was in Braveheart. Yeah.

Yeah. Was he? Yeah. It's funny. You don't see him as Scottish or like cuz he his voice is

just his. Yes. Like it doesn't have like a thick accent to it or anything. It's not like Groundseper Willie.

No. Oh, I love the other part. We're talking about all the characters in the show and he goes, "It's just a joyful show. It's fun as hell." And this Sam

character is just so pathetic. And I go, "That one, those are actual real stories. Most of those are that's

actually my life." Uh I would never want a son like this. No, he's Oh, dude. He's in Troy's

Agamemnon. He's in so much [ __ ] Yeah. Manhunter, Hannibal Lectar. He's the original Hannibal Lectar.

That I mean to me it's like I would I would rather be that than a movie star where there's no there's no pressure on

you when you know box office comes. You just get to be good and [ __ ] Go

home early. You don't he didn't have to promote stuff for years. It's kind of like Gary Oldman. He's just

quietly killing it. No one ever thinks of him in like the Brad Pitt or Tom Cruz world. But if you ask me who the best

actor of our generation is, I might say Gary Oldman because he becomes the

characters. You don't even know you're watching Gary Oldman sometimes. That's true. He's Commissioner Gordon,

but he's also a Rasta guy in True Romance. He was actually that character was on White Boys in the Hood if you are now.

He was He's hilarious. And so is Fifth Element character for some reason. You know, he did lean into that a little.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but Chris Tucker with the, you know, rolling uh paint roller on his head was

was hosting that episode, so it's okay. He would kill on Drag Race. Kind of an underrated movie, actually.

Fifth, oh, I love Fifth. That's a fun one, dude. And Mia Jovovich. Did you Did you ever see Valyan? That

That was that guy's attempt to make another one like that. Luke Bassan. Never heard of it. It's I I love an expensive bad movie

that's unique. Like it this movie like Rihanna plays an amorphous

shape-shifting jellyfish. Pull it up. They offered it to Marlon Brando. And yeah, it's funny when you see the

poster is that holy [ __ ] Yeah. Looks like Avatar. The opening of the movie is one of the

most beautiful openings I've ever seen in a movie. The first six minutes are like phenomenal. But you but here's why

the movie doesn't work. the poster like look at the the two leads uh Dane Dhan

and and K Deinier or whatever they're supposed to be like hardboile film

noirish cops in their 30s and it does not work because the thing is a lot of times like especially

European directors they're so just obsessed with the visuals that they don't think about the acting

yes wow I never even heard of it this looks crazy

look up the Rotten Tomatoes there. Syracuse. I like those. Look at those wacky. This came out like at Jupiter Ascending

also was the Wow. I remember the name. Oh yeah. And they both transitioned, right?

Yes. Both dudes both became women. No. You watch that movie. You go women directors. Huh.

No man would ever make this film. So the Rotten Tomatoes in this is 47 and

the audience is 53. It's not horrible though. I mean Yeah. But you know what though? That's a better 47 than a lot of 47s because like

I said like he he funded some of it himself like Megalopouloolis he got all

these investors and everything like he did make the exact movie he wanted to make and I would rather watch that than

you know and I am like you know comic book fan and everything but you know the Marvel made by committee movies like

this movie has stuff in it you wouldn't see anywhere else right because only he could come up with it. I prefer that as well.

Yeah. I'm gonna check this out. It's It look like Yeah. So, the one on

the left is the Rihanna jellyfish. The blue. Yeah. That's That's Rihanna. What? What a waste of Rihanna.

No, she she becomes Rihanna. Okay. Yeah. Also, but that's that's her. This is her after getting beat up by

Chris Brown. Black and blue.

SSN MM. She need an umbrella. It is such a like

artsy director thing to be like, we're going to cast one of the world's hottest women and we're going to make it look nothing like her. It's such a French we

take and now she's a jellyfish.

I'd pee on her. No, that happened after Chris Brown read the script. What?

You're leaving me for what? You're going to need a Valium.

Valyan. What is a Valyrian? It is. Is that a madeup word? I think he's Valyan, I'm pretty sure.

And yeah, but it's like that dude, right? It's just it looks like what a European thinks an American would look

like. Yes. Yes. Totally. That guy was in everything for a few. He was in Chronicle. He was in the the

second uh Spider-Man. Um Amazing Spider-Man 2. Yeah. Isn't that where these guys were in

everything? What was that guy from X Machina? He's also in the Revenant. He's also in Oh, Damal Gleason.

Yeah. Yes. He's Brendan Gleon's son who was like we literally wrote the role for Brian Cox but we're like we had to

like prepare oursel for him saying no so we were like Brendon Gleason's name came up really I love him and he's like

oh yeah he's amazing I'm sure those guys take each other's roles all the time

yeah true although I think I think uh Brennan Gleason's a little bit younger he did he

did SNL like a few years ago he was funny yeah he was I I liked like having,

you know, a character director on that show. Dude, have you seen the movie The Guard? Huge wreck with It's Brendan Gleon and

Don Cheetel. It's [ __ ] great. Great. Great comedy. Banshees of Inner Shin was

and he's so good in it. Yeah. I like movies that are like it's just straight up a play basically. It's

incredible. Martin McDonald, right? He's a playright. Yeah. Yeah. The dialogue was good. The characters were great.

That's a great comedy right there. I've never heard of this. It's [ __ ] awesome. Okay.

Highly underrated. Nice. It's I think it's by Mcdana's brother. Ah, yeah.

Jeez. Yeah. The Irish funny people. Good. Good at dark comedy. Irish and black is that they're a

funnier combo. Maybe Jew. Well, black and Chinese for three movies. Oh, yes.

They got three movies out of that. You understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Oh, did you pull up that Scotty Pippen

thing I sent you? What is that? Let me see it. I I sent this a few weeks ago when you just had it. By the way, Rush

Hour has a disclaimer on it now. A lot of these jokes are outdated. Really? Yeah. That's what this

It says like the buddy comedies of the 90s were a different time. Really? Funnier.

Yeah. If that allows people to to air it, that's fine. Disney Plus, like Aladdin,

it's, you know, just look at the year it was made and you just I know we got to say smoking now, too, which is when it'll be like

nudity, rape, smoking. Yeah. But don't worry, smoking was blurred out.

We kept all the rape in, but the smoking, you don't see it anymore. There's a rape scene afterwards. The guy takes out a cigarette, the mom covers

your eyes. Yeah, exactly. It's too much. There's a movie uh they do movies in the park by my house in Brooklyn now, and it

was Pride Month, so all the movies were gay themed. And one of them was Call Me By Your Name, which has that crazy jizz in the Peach

moment, as we all know. But I thought I don't know if they would show a straight

jizz in a peach in the park. It seems a little naughtier. You mean if the peach was straight? Yes.

It just feels like they wouldn't show like two two guy and a girl [ __ ] It's too crazy. But gay gives it a

little artsiness to it. Man, I love that you're rehearsing for your next Rogan appearance.

Am I wrong? No, I think uh you can't show straight fruit. Well, I'm not saying the fruit. I'm

saying What is a straight fruit? Straight fruit. Bisexual.

Huh? I feel like an apple's a pretty straight fruit. That's true. Apple a day. Yeah.

So Sam sent me this clip. Yeah. It's just Scotty Pippen just lost his mind. I love this. Just posting this.

Oh man. What does the comment say? The caption.

Lots of craziness in the world. Tell me something good. Palm tree son. I feel bad for the person who had to

film this for him. I know. His friend's like, "Just get me just get me walking on this." I'm I'm partially

saying this as a wrestling fan, but athletes aren't meant to live after 50.

True. No good comes of it. No, no. Just go go into a tower like uh

Michael Jordan. He just invests in things quietly. You can't gamble till 5 a.m. Gamble. That's fine.

He has to die the way his dad did. Yeah. Oh, you think that was It must have been his

fault. That was a hit. [ __ ] That's imagine being Michael Jordan and you [ __ ] got your dad killed.

Yeah, that's crazy. You have everything and you know the conspiracy. I mean, that's what they say, right?

Yeah. Is that right? They're actually making a movie of it and Brian Cox is playing Michael Jordan instead.

Wowki's driving female drivers. Uh, damn. That's crazy. It's kind of

like Will Smith. You see, he wrapped in London. Everybody's trashing it. Oh my god. Came out of nowhere. Have you seen the clips of him rapping?

They're pretty. I saw the Pretty Girls rap. That was it. Yeah. Pull it up. I like Pretty Girls. It is the most like

if a gay person had to write about pretending to be straight.

Yeah. I love [ __ ] I eat it up like tappy.

Loose lipstick ships. Yeah. Yeah. You could wrap this in Paul Lynn's voice.

Yeah. Oh, wait. No, he does a live thing. Okay. No. No. Let's see this for a sec first. It's pretty rough.

Yeah, Chris Rock should come up and slap him. It's literally like everyone's calling him gay and he's like, "We got my next

We got my next You think if he slaps him again, it's like a sitcom. He'll go back to being normal.

He'll go back to Stefan." Oh, look at the sweater and everything. Come on.

You know Jade is going, "This is why I [ __ ] your friend."

O, it is. It is. Poor guy. Yeah, it's pretty gay. Yeah. And just not catchy and no one

cares. Well, then he also he did one where it was like him playing a bunch of different characters and they're all

commenting on Will Smith. It's a rap about, you know, people say this about Will Smith and people say

that and it's but it's like he's trying to do like the the barber shop in um

Coming to America where it's like he's all the different It's

embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. Uhhuh. Uhhuh. Just nobody's excited about this.

That's so crazy cuz he's one of the most famous people and he's like 55 56.

If he died at 50, he would have been good, too. Yeah, I know. I know. Right before the Chris Rocks slap. It's

like, man, he went out well. A fun Oscar that night, too. It's a fun game to play when they should

have died. You just take a celebrity and you get the the the biggest moment that they

could have died. I like it. Damn. So, Brando. Brando. But he I

this guy 73. Yeah. Right after Godfather. Damn. But before the weird Oscar thing

with the Native American and John Wayne. Get her off the stage. Pilgrim.

Yeah. Oh, a guy's watch. So, this is a good review. This, by the way, this is what it's now watching a guy watching Will

Smith. Not yet. Now we are. Yeah. Messi and Ronaldipse.

[Music] This makes you realize how important Uncle Phil was to his life.

Without that guidance, dude. He had such a run in the 90s, though. Holy [ __ ] His career now is if

he was raised by Ben Vine. How did Jazzy Jeff win?

How did Carlton win? Oh, I love Carlton. You're watching You're watching now and

you're just like, man, I missed the Wild Wild West. Yeah, those were good times. I love when he wrapped the plots of the

films. Yes. Welcome to Miami. Yeah, he did the the Men in Black rap. Yeah. Yeah. Become the MIB.

He's hosting uh the new America's Funniest Home Videos, by the way. That's probably a good gig. Great gig. You show clips, you make

seems like a nice guy, too. I'm sure he's banging some mils. He's having a great time. I used to love how damning the theme

song was where it was like, "America, this is you."

That's true. Look what you've become. Guy gets kicked by a Shetland pony in the nuts. That's America, baby.

It's not unusual to see that. That's his family.

Oh, that's a good looking fam. Yeah, man. Wow. I mean, he was Silver Spoons before he

been forever. He's a good comic actor. I like when they would have like, didn't they have an episode where he got shot?

Oh, yeah. They would take weird turns on that show. They went to the hood. Well, every sitcom had to have the serious crazy

learn something episode. Yeah. And then the serious like I wish I was stronger and then like a hug or

something. Well, they had the one where it was like he gets like um mocked at

the black fraternity. Oh. And he's like, you know, but why? I'm just as black as them. And you know,

and then Phil is like, and will they ever learn, right? Phil is great, dude.

He's the best. Shredder, James. That's right. [ __ ] Yeah. He was the voice of Shredder in

the original Ninja Turtles. Is he still alive? Oh, no. He passed away like years ago.

He's like a phenom. You want to see something amazing? Uh, James Avery,

Regginal Vel Johnson. Whoa. World's colliding. You're damn right. Yeah. James Avery family matters.

It's like Batman vers Superman. Yeah. What What are we doing here? Hey, Mike. Mike, come join us, buddy.

There he is. Big Phil. Mike Beckon, everybody. Mike Beckon. Mike, did did you watch uh Family

Matters or Fresh Prince growing up? Uh, I'm aware of them. I I didn't wasn't It was a little uh

I was doing push-ups to me. It was like not during my heyday.

Oh, Garcel Buffo is in this. She was hot. Thanks for having me on. Oh,

hey. Sorry. Sorry. Even right during It's like we're watching Basic Instinct like shut up.

That's a Did he freak off? That's Diddy.

They didn't tell him that James Avery was coming on the set. Oh, so this is like an outtake, but that they they

aired it. I remember seeing this as a kid. This was the most amazing thing.

Oh, no. He's like, are they replacing me? What the [ __ ] I know, right?

Just seeing Uncle Phil in a shirt is like weird. Yeah, let it play out.

I love James Avery, dude. He was He was the backbone of that show. Yeah. No, you needed him.

Damn. Best TV dad. Yeah. Yeah. I like Cosby. Yeah. But no, what's what's beautiful

about that clip was that those guys like they came up together in theater and then they're like, "Look, we both made it that we have money jobs." Yeah.

Whoa. And they got the same gig basically. Yeah. Basically, lawyer. I mean, judge, cop. Yeah.

Yeah. By the way, so typ casted. He's a cop on the sitcom. He's a cop in Ghostbusters. He's a cop in Die Hard.

And he's a cop in Turner and Hooch. Yeah. But he's a friend. Friendly cop. That's true. He's friendly. He's like a um liaison to

the community. Yeah. Yeah, you don't in later Family Matters when it was just like the Urkl hij jinks every season they would give

him like one serious acting episode. So there was the one where like these two white cops pulled over Eddie and he's

like you pulled over my son and then like the subplot is like Urkel is Bruce Lee.

They had to throw in a silly B story. Oh no, the be story was the cops.

Those writers knew what they were doing, man. I mean I assume this started from the P. P Ddy. There was a P DD discussion before this

and then it went into the family. I don't even think so. I think I think I think we went He started family matters first.

Will Smith I mean [ __ ] remember the uh what you talking about Willis Gary Coleman episode didn't he get

molested in one episode? No he did. That was the first one. No Dy does his friend they create they gave him a friend just for that episode.

Right. Well he gets it in the bike shop which is where all molestation should

happen. Imagine being that stage parent. They're like, "You're auditioning for a kid who gets fucked." Now, now, now I definitely sound like

Rayman, but played by Gordon Jump, who was also the Bay Tag Man and was on WP

in Cincinnati.

They had to prep you back in the day. They're like, "It's a special episode." It's also funny that it's like the theme

song is it takes different strokes to change the world or whatever. Like, that sounds like rule the world. That sounds

like a defense of pedophilia. Right. Right. Now the world don't move to the beat of

just one drum. Look, he's watching a Diddy magazine, man. He's literally doing the original

Trump. I know. He got acquitted. What? Webster walks in. He's like, "Wait a

second. There could be only one." They both They think they got little swords. Actually, it's Lowlander.

[Laughter] Oh, that was that was great. Helloander.

Damn. Great speech. All right. Yeah. Um Oh, Mike, you got a new special out

on YouTube, everybody. Called Low-Income White. I don't know where the cameras are. Please uh please

watch it. White on YouTube. Thank you guys both for uh sharing. I appreciate it. Nate Land Produce.

Nateland Produce. Yeah, these two these two have been on the road together, I think. Yeah. Pete Davidson gigs. Yeah. opening

for Pete. Yeah, Pete's the best, man. How was that? Awesome. Great crowds. I bet.

Yeah. It's amazing watching Mike have to learn how to promote.

Cuz even on stage, she's like, "If you if you liked what you just saw, please go to my website." You don't have to,

but if you would like to. No, I have to do it after every uh every

set now because it's just It works, man. I mean, yeah, you have to. 20,000 people or whatever.

Right. Right. But it's like a hostage video. You're like, "Ah, God, please." Yeah. I try to make it funny, but I

after everyone, it's like, I have to do it, you know? Got to do it. By the way, give the man a little room here. I like it.

Those those pee shows are amazing because you are someone's first stand-up

comedian. Yeah. Yeah. There are people there who have never been to a comedy show. And I'm sure the 22-year-old girls love

seeing you. But it's weird. They do look like the fathers that abandoned them. Yeah.

Uh but Nate shows too. It's like half the people are just there. Uh they've never been to a comedy show. They're

just they love Nate. Yeah. Crazy. So damn. Uh what's what's the when you go out with

Pete? Do you you guys do like a dinner afterwards or or is it just kind of like you're out after? I have to go to the straight to the next

place. Yeah. We drive that night. Yeah. Wow. Go and then drive that night. Yeah.

Bus, I take it. Uh, no. Sprinter? No, just uh regular cars. Maybe maybe an

SUV. Yeah, but uh just cars. Yeah, we were one time, I don't know if you were on that one, but we were chased for

like 45 minutes by the ladies. Uh by like this one fan on the road.

Whoa. Yeah. No, I did come out of like when we were in Philly, I came out of the car

and it was just like I mean it's just a window into what he has to deal with where it's like you get out because

everybody's like, "Oh, you have to deal." It's like, "No, no, no, no. You get out of the car and it's like flashes going off. It's like

disorientating and people around us getting rushed into the Wow. Us him being rushed into the um

building, man. It's like it's like you're ambushed. You know what I mean? Now, the big thing is the eBay guys. So

you because he he was in the Transformers movie and stuff. So they have the Funko Pops and

Yeah. How do they know? How do those guys get hip to that? They'll be at the airport at 6:00 a.m. The early flight.

I was I was at Largo in LA with Sarah Silverman just in the parking lot. There

was like three guys with her Wreckit Ralph toys. Damn. Yeah. The day before Thanksgiving

when Mike's calling a guy pathetic. Yeah. You ain't nerd. You're nothing.

Well, that's a spectrum. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. I do have a wife and child, which a lot

of those guys do not. Yeah, that's true. Right. Damn. That's crazy. Wreckit Ralph.

Yeah. If you're in something like that, then you know that's like they could sell it and Yeah. Yeah.

Is there a market for that though? Like how much are they really getting for And I've signed [ __ ] I'm like, who's buying my [ __ ]

Same. I tell them that when they when they when I'm like, "No one wants this." No one wants me. Get Jim Carrey or

Murphy. Well, the thing too is the more that gets signed, the more the value goes down.

Ah, good point. Okay, you really going to do 65 bucks, you know, that shipping in. Is that

worth it? Damn. Back in the day, if you were a retired athlete, autographs was like that's how

you kept making money. Sure. Sure. Yeah. But it was a big deal. Like Joe Deaggio would just make a ton of money signing.

You could quit and just be a greeter at a casino. That's that's remember that head shot.

Oh, that's an oldie. Yeah, that's a good one. $62. I know. 42.

Oh, 42. All right. My side. And you did a star, David. Always. So, we know it's real.

Good boy. Now, is there a discount for the holidays? For the high ones. Does Pete Does Pete is obsessed with uh

Tony Soprano, right? Yes. I saw a thing of him buying like a Tony Soprano watch on

you. So, we I I'm staying at his place right now. We drove in uh my wife's in

uh Paulie Walnuts's car signed by Tony Cro.

You and Paulie Wallet's car. You should have got the car of the one where uh the fat gay guy blew him in the

construction site. Was that veto? Veto. I'm sure he's and the cowboy hat. Yeah,

that you know like I I I ended up watching it for the first time like a few years ago and that was one of the

saddest stories. And what was what was amazing about it though which I liked like in terms of writing they never made

Veto likable. He was still an [ __ ] but you just he was a bully. Yeah. Yeah. But you kind of felt bad for him.

Yeah. Cuz he didn't deserve to get [ __ ] sodomized to death. I mean I mean that's such a That's based off a true story. Is that

right? The Decalante family in New Jersey, one of the bosses was there was a rumor that

he was gay and that rumor got him killed. So, it's based on the truth. Mike looks like he would know fun facts

about Yeah. No, that's crazy, right? Yeah. Yeah.

He'll nail the Gary Coleman guy between the two of us. Yeah. He'll do the mob stuff.

Damn, that is uh Yeah, that was tragic. I saw a post recently. I forgot who did it. Someone tweeted this, but it was

like, you know, if they made The Sopranos today, they'd make him go to a psychiatrist and his daughter would date a black guy and there'd be a gay

subplot. Oh my god. Brilliant. They just snuck it in. It was that good. You don't even pay attention.

Yeah. So good. I This is my my Dumb Sopranos hot take though, which is that

I think they should have just recast the mom. The story was about him and the mom. No,

no. uh when his when his mom passed away. Lydia, she was so good though. She was so good.

No, but she died. But I'm saying when she died, they shouldn't have written the character out of the show. They

should have gotten someone else. She should have onvived her because the story was him and the mom the whole time, right?

And then and then should have cast her as a black mom. They should have gotten actual on Viv. Remember there was like that there's

like that Simpsons with like, you know, we already have three grandpas that are jazz musicians. Like every season

there's like a new cousin that's out of prison and it's like they they had these like like forced antagonist and the mom was a

natural antagonist. Speaking of which, how you doing with Marge dying? Oh, that was just uh you know I it's

fine. I don't I don't watch it anymore. Oh damn. How am I doing with the show dying?

Good boy. But that's a pretty big deal. Killing March. Yeah, but that was a fantasy sequence. She's not actually

dead. I thought the lady was like, I want out Nancy Car ride or whatever. I thought she went to wherever Pooh

went. I thought she was really dead. That is the best gig. Harry Sheerer like

records in like his New Orleans mansion. Wow. And just sends this you at the I went to

a table read and got to see castonetta live. Wow.

Him doing Homer live is like it's insane. And then he goes into Quimby and Grounds Keeper Willie. He there was a

part of it where it was him and grandpa and he's just wow going back and forth with

they used to go on Conan and do that a little bit. It was I think it was Harry Sheer and Dan Castella. You would never see Kavner do it like on

Inside the Actor's Studio. They would show everybody else but her. There's also an LA Law episode where Dan

Castelonetta plays a guy who is obsessed with being Homer Simpson. Pull it up.

Yeah. Go net worth. You had net worth there. I want to see These guys are Oh, it's got to be stupid.

No, I'm just kidding. I don't know, man. You know what? You what's amazing though is like a lot of those guys were just on

the Tracy Man show. That's right. And they're like, "Hey, you want to just do this voice also, and it's like

forever money." Yes. I know the show is shitty now, but it

would be nice if it just never went away. I like that it's still going. I don't know. I disagree. It's kind of

under It's like a safety blanket. Oh, what the hell? an organization that takes like a

serious show and dims their boats.

Wow, that's too weird. That is really But then he takes he I think he takes the mask off and it's you know

and then they get on with the episode. I wish there was more voiceover stuff is so is so fun. I wish there was more. I

did I did like a few episodes on 10-year-old Tom and it was so [ __ ] fun. It's so annoying because people with

both of us are like you should do voiceover. I'm like, I would love to. It's so coveted. Nobody wants to give up their job.

It's funny the way that that that Homer is like, you know, drawn like you could tell that is exactly like 1992.

That's like season three. They're still figuring it out. Yep. Yep. That back when you could figure out a

show. Yeah. Now you better come out of the gates swinging. You even if you do Netflix will just like buy and then cancel a

show like nothing. What do they give you? Four episodes to prove yourself. I don't know. something like that.

I don't know. But my thing is start firing the guys who said no to a project and then they pick it up like like Family Guy.

Somebody cancelled Family Guy. They made a decision in a boardroom and they cancelled the show and then it got picked up again on a different channel.

Whatever. And now it's the biggest cartoon of all time. That guy should be fired for cancel. Right. Right. Everyone said no to Squid

Game. Really? For years. There you go. For years. I think it took 15 years for

that to get on the air. Wow. We're complaining about 18 months. We got to shut the [ __ ] up.

That's everyone. That's just you. That's just me. I'm used to He'll just be You need one whiny person in the group.

You do. You do. He'll just He'll just text it be like, "When are we going to know?" Yeah. I'm like, "We're not." It's

I'm used to sending that with pregnancy texts. So, I just have to There's only some days you could tell

your writing partner, "We don't matter."

I'm Sam writes back, "But we're straight white. Don't they respect that?

I don't understand. Well, that one night in college, but besides that, yes,

it sucks. I think we're just used to comed comedy. We need to do stand up, right? It either works or it doesn't.

Yep. We're used to knowing. Yeah. December 2023 was when we first talked about Yeah. the idea.

Wow. Yeah. Crazy. But it evolves. You know, it gets better. It could have been made and cancelled by now.

Right. Right. There's this great book called Pictures of a Revolution by Mark Harris and it's like all about the movies that changed Hollywood in the

late60s. So it's like the best picture movie. So it's like Bonnie and Clyde, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner which was

like kind of the you know the fake progressive movie and then they in the heat of the night which was kind of like

the more badass one. Then it was Dr. Dittle which was a huge bomb and then the last one was The Graduate. So it's

like how it changed Hollywood. You know, Bonnie and Clyde was crazy, cutting edge, brand new, and it took like I

don't know, like five years to get made. Really? Yeah. You think you got Warren Batty, and you know, it went through all these people.

They originally was like True Foe was attached to direct it. Wow. Warren Batty isn't fully Warren Batty

until Monte and Clyde come out. True. He's badass. But it's always somebody has to take a risk. That's really what it comes down

to. Somebody's going to have balls and take a risk. And the the biggest problem now is they just spend too much money on

everything. And then they look at everything as being too costly and it's like just

lower the budgets. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Just charge more for paper towels and

you can make this show Amazon. Come on. Well, that too. No, but it's like every everything that

cost over $100 million all looks the same. Yeah. Yeah, you know, but when you like

the first Deadpool was only 50 million cuz Fox didn't believe in it.

And it looks different than other comic movies. The love story is more grounded

and believable because they they had to make it character- based because they couldn't afford to just do a bunch of

action. Yeah. Yeah. It's almost cool to see when you know if you look at like an old Scorsese

movie where he had to work within a budget as opposed to now he just do anything. When you watch like Mean Streets or Taxi Drive, you're like,

"Holy [ __ ] he had to work within his used to end." Yeah. Yeah. They had run times. Like that's the

thing too. I don't you know Yeah. You're like the greatest director. Sometimes there's too much leash.

Haven't you worked with the same editor? Like talk to a film maker. Let her She did. Yeah. That's why the movies are still

going. Oh, so she got cut. She died. Yeah. She's on the cutter of floor.

No, he needs somebody, right? It's like I I I remember when u we were on tour

and uh Killers of the Flower Moon came out in the theater and everybody everybody went to go see

it except me because I brought my PS5 cuz Spider-Man 2 had just come out

and my son wasn't even like one yet and so it's like this is my only time. It's

like you know [ __ ] Burgess Meredith with the books in the vault. Yeah. And I

was like I'm going to actually stay in. And I remember even my wife being like, "How you got to go to the movies if they're going to the movies?" You know,

like those would look at you as not like, you know, playing along and everything. I'm like, they know that

told you not to go. Yeah. But then and then I remember like everybody went but me and they all hated

it. They I think they walked out and you saved three and a half hours. Yeah. You could beat the whole game. Right. This this episode is incredible also

because but people often forget about it is that his wife hates books and she crosses out

every word in the book meticulously. Your wife is what is she a Florida teacher?

But I wanted to read about these and them. There was time now.

That was a great episode. It is funny when you go to a Barnes & Noble though now and there's like it'll be like a table and it's like outlawed

books. I'm like, "Well, they're not really outlawed. I'm I'm looking right at them. They're right here."

Yeah. Raised the price on them. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They're trending now. Yeah.

Mouse is like $60 now. Barnes & Noble should transition into a coffee shop.

Yeah. That has books. I know. That's all. In a public restroom. Yeah. In a public restroom. Public restroom is really the selling

point. Yeah. Yeah. Libraries now. It's just hobo heaven. Yeah. Air conditioning, there's internet,

right? Bathroom. Dude, when I when I when I moved to New York in 2007, I didn't have

Wi-Fi for like the first few months and just waiting in a library, you know,

with the the come filled keyboard and just you knew like who was in the queue

in front of you and like true. I got to go on Craigslist to look up jobs.

God, it sounds so antiquity. You used to have a [ __ ] tape deck. Remember that? With the batteries that would fall out.

Yeah. Remember I I'd bring uh three liter sodas. Yes. Yes. Before the band.

You still Do you still have sodas a lot? I mean, you have one right now. Yeah. How often? I'm obsessed. Uh, a couple today.

Damn. Wow. The ban was hilarious, though. I love the ban because people lost it. They were like, "You can't.

It's a constitutional right." It's like, we're not we're not saying that you can't get as much. You can go back and

get refills on a 32 ounce, but you just can't have a 64 ounce. It's like it's unamerican.

Americans just don't want to be told they can't do anything. True. Oh yeah. It's like the when they drinking and driving used to be legal and then they

made it a law and there's a video of like a local news guy. He's like, "This is crazy. I can't drink and drive. What

kind of country am I living in? What's next? They're going to take away coffee." I never thought smoking indoors uh the

smoking ban indoors was going to take. I was like, "There's no way this takes." Thank god that took Thank God.

Yeah. It was turned out to be a great idea. I know. I was wrong. I've only been here two days and the

amount of people that smoke outside I Nobody smokes in LA. Really? No. So, it's like just walking around

Yeah. vaping and all that, but walking around like smelling cigarette smoke. It's like ah it's [ __ ]

I know. Especially in the heat. I just love that like scientist had to prove it was bad.

No, just cigarettes. No, it's the same thing with the phone now where it's like we all know it's bad, but there's no like I guess there's

I guess maybe there is hard scientific but it's not like it was kind of like smoking where it's like when my mother smoked I was like where

did you think the smoke went? Yeah. when you inhaled it like well we knew but there was no hard right there's no evidence out there

they have a Will Smith movie where he's brave enough to be like yeah when people get hit in the head in football it's not

good tell the truth can he rap in that accent

that guy was wronged that's a crazy story Oh yeah that's right doctors would smoke pull up the the if you can find the

local news of uh the guys bitching about drinking and driving it's so it's in Texas is a woman just furious

like how the hell do people not know vap Dude, and in the 50s like you're charging it in a USB port and then

smoking it. You think that's not bad for you? And it's crazy flavors. It's all bad. It feels like you're downloading cancer.

It's like 23% 27%. Rod Serling would smoke. He died of lung cancer, but he would smoke all the time

in Twilight Zones. Oh yeah. Groucho on You bet your life. Like five minute cigarette ads.

100%. Yeah. I think cigarettes are disgusting. Unless I'm drunk, in which case I'm like, "Fuck, I crave one." When I'm

hammered, get the Zen. Everybody switch Zen. I was smoking a vape the other night cuz I was with a lady who was vaping. I was

like, "Just give it to me." And I'm like, "This is disgusting." But when you're drunk, when you're drunk, it hits. I get it. I get it. I like a cigar every

now and then, too. I love it. I got the little ones so you don't have to dedicate all that time to it. Yeah. Yeah. It's very timeconuming. Uh

oh. This is my addiction. I have hundreds if not like at least a

thousand feet away from the building. Yeah, it's an adult collectible.

This is Kingo from the movie Eternals. I actually got this figure cuz Yeah, I'm

buddies with Kumale and I just put the head on like other characters. So I have like Spider Kumale and Yeah.

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that would be fun if you kept that in your pocket and at the end of the day you're like

after sex you're like give me Kingo. Wait, I'm the kingo of my castle. What is

this? It's kind of getting communist when a fell can't put in a hard day's work, put in 11, 12 hours a day and then

get in your truck and at least drink one or two beers. He's the white version of that black comic we watched.

This is a Californian, too. This ain't even like a Alabama. Keep going. I want to see what else we got. Laws where you can't drink when you want

to. You can't you have to wear a seat belt when you're driving. That one's reasonable.

Pretty soon we're going to be communist country. Communist country. I mean, look at this. It's all still alive and the baby isn't.

I I don't get what's the objection with the seat belt? Well, it's the forcing that's the fact that it's a law now

and it traps you. If you happen to drive into water, you can't get you can't get out. And also also the thing is I I know you

just became a dad, but parenting especially, if you tell anyone how

to raise their kid, that you have to put a seat belt, all that kind of stuff.

It's just it it gets so personal. Oh yeah. It's Yeah. I mean going to the

playground is like exhausting because you don't turned on,

you know, like we're working together. You know, if I get arrested for pedophilia, like that's not good for the

show. No. Or the kids. That's bad for everyone. That might get it launched.

That's true. A scandal could help. Yeah. No, but like you know, you don't

because you don't know how other people are raising their kids and stuff and if their kid does something with your kid and you know, even if like like like

something like sharing like no, he can have some if he wants and then they'll be like we're teaching him not to

it gets so dicey and it becomes a Rico conspiracy then. Yeah. Where everybody gets

anything though. Has anyone like have you done anything away and you're like oh maybe we should do it that way?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I definitely, you know, watching other people hit their kids reminds me why I'll never hit my

Yeah, that was that was traumatizing. Like he like Logan was like one and three months

and he was playing with this boy at like a train station and the mom just smacked

him right in front of your kid. No, no. Okay. The kid the kid in front of Logan. Logan saw it.

Oh, yeah. That's heavy. Did he cry? I like that when that happened to my kid

cuz it showed my kid like look your life could be this shitty. It was like I don't hit my kid obviously

but I was like I he and he acts out a lot because of it. That's why I leave a Tina Turner photo at the house.

The wife has a jellyfish. This will be you.

He shows this kid the R. Kelly documentary. It could be really bad for you, dude. You're lucky. Yeah. You want to be trapped in the closet

again? Volume 23. The Nickelodeon doc again. Do you want to get slimed?

Quiet on set. That was a dark dock, dude. I watched

it, too. I could watch that. That poor kid, man. Jesus Christ. You guys should do a documentary about

something. Not trying to write a show, just something that's already out there. And uh the dark side of it.

Child abuse. Yeah. The dark side of child abuse. Yes. Because everybody knows about the upside.

Damn, she looks rough. Poor man. Poor poor man of bines. Yeah. Something went bad. Look how cute she used to be. That's my

type that age. What? The one on the left.

She looks like the [ __ ] Blueberry. The Rihanna roll. Jesus Christ. She looks like she's about to say something sassy to Drew Carey.

What a bullboard. We're doing a lot of 90s sitcoms on this. Jesus Christ.

Cleveland Rocks. Damn, that show was great, man. That was a really innovative show. Blue collar Seinfeld.

Oh, that's what it was. It was Seinfeld for pores. I like that. I like that show. Yeah. Drew Car's kind

of underappreciated. Ryan Styles just killer. Literally poor man's Kramer. Dedric Bader was great.

Yeah. He's the George. Yeah. Yeah. And they had the girl who was too attractive. And then that's Newman. Mimi Newman.

Yeah. It's actually the actor who played Newman. That's Wayne Knight. That's Wayne Knight night during the day. That's Wayne.

Damn, dude. And then they would do remember they would do like do like impro improvised

like episodes and stuff. They were doing musical episodes. It was fun. It's cool when shows took swings like

that back in the day. Even if it missed, you're like, "All right, you tried." And now did the live one. Remember that?

Yeah. That was Well, that was the improv one. Yeah. And they would do it in they did one in the east coast and the west coast and yeah

cool 30 Rock is such a good show. It's so good from I mean it's ridiculous and

it's like why wasn't this commercially I mean it was Yeah. It was too smart. It's like people are tired from work and

they sit down. It's like they just don't want to think. I think that's what it is. I mean the sex symbol that Scott Adset

could have been if we just let him into our hearts. I feel but it went like what seven seasons. It was a huge hit. It was a It

was a crit what is it? Critically acclaimed. Whereas like uh what's the Charlie Sheen show? That was like a huge hit. Two and

a half. Two and a half men. So that was a huge hit. How many seasons was it? The 30 Rock was like a critically acclaimed.

It was critically acclaimed. Okay. Do you Mark will remember this guy. I don't know if you guys will, but

it's one of my favorite sad showbiz stories. Do you do you guys you guys remember Gowi?

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After four beers, but no, Gowi was this open micer at the pit. This old guy with glasses

and he sounded like Elmer Fud. He's like, I'm Gi. I remember that guy. Okay.

You remember him? Yes. All right. So, I remember he told me this. He told me this story where

you'll never find him. He was He was like covert ops. Yeah. Yeah. And I and I do believe he passed, but he was on 30 Rock as an

extra for years and years. And he told me this story. He was like, "And Tina

said that I was going to get a line in the finale." Oh, yes. And and and and then I watched it in my

shelter. He was in a homeless shelter like watching the episode of 30 Rock and

saw that his line was cut. Damn. Wow. the cast of characters that we saw.

Remember Charlie Abson? He's got to be dead. Bob, Angry Bob, Bob Bell.

Yeah. I mean, they they missed the kill Tony boat right in there with their [ __ ] pen of

psycho. Selling out a funny bone. But you know what? Here's the thing. A lot of those guys would still bomb on

Kill Tony because they'd be like, I can't just do one minute. That's true. That's true. Damn. Yeah. There's

Because they gave you more time at the Village Lantern. It wasn't just one minute. You could

really explore your soul at five. Is Is Colin Kane with a drink ticket? Yeah, it's true.

Is Colin Kane still around of Donkey Punch fame? I don't know. I don't remember. Yeah, he's got to be I

don't know where he That was my favorite thing about the Village Lantern is there just be a big sign Colin Kane's Donkey Punch.

There was a show that was I know he was like it was maybe 10 years ago, but he was like he sold out Gotham.

I remember he was selling out. He would crush. Yeah. Oh, I did an MTV showcase with him and me and Ducker, Mike Ducker bombed

and he killed and we just were like the police won. [Laughter]

He was like the like it didn't add up. It was like the hot guy who just hated women. Yeah,

that character's always start. He didn't start that way. No, no, no. It evolved into that. I think he was like running

shows in the Village Lantern. He was like doing jokes, doing real and then he got managed by Louisis Faranda at Caroline. So, he's getting a bunch of

spots there. That's where I saw and then um but then it turned into um it turned into that.

I heard a story. I heard a story that he turned away Judah Freedellander at like Carolines or

something because he was like, "Yeah, this guy's like, "Yeah, he thought he was a homeless guy and you know, guy shows up in a

championship of the world with the glasses and the hat and you know, Colin Kane's not watching 30 Rock."

Right. Right. He was a hunk. I saw him open for Nor McDonald. I paid the money and saw Nor

McDonald, my hero, and then Colin Kane opened and I was like, "Oh, this is weird." Open mic fight.

Zack and Colin Kane sentence Schumer. Uh,

what year? Wow. I mean, this year literally sounds like 2009.

Eight or nine. 08. Right now, close. Very nice. At comics. That was a different time.

They still owe me money. Really piece of [ __ ] club. Damn.

The the the one in Foxwoods. No, no, no. They weirdly they made good uh No, the one in the meat packing in

New York City, 14th Street. That was like our room. We'd go to Ochi's every week. The place that was closed down by White

Rap. Remember Tom McCaffrey? Oh. Started doing rap there. And the last

show that they did was like one of his shows. And it's like for a club to have their final show be a former comedian

turned rapper. Dang. Some say the world will end in fire. Some say an ice.

I say, but that's how it always is when a comedy club opens. It's like they just roll out the red carpet. We want to

treat our comics, right? Like, you know, dinner menu. We want to eat free meal, whatever. But by the end,

it's like, okay, you get choice of these five snacks. Yeah. And then we'll pay you two weeks. Yeah.

First day you're like, pumpkin ravioli. Holy [ __ ] The hell's going on here? CBS was the same way. You're like, whoa.

Yawn. How about this? Yeah, but you know they're laundering something or they're going to [ __ ] you. I remember showing up and he's like, I

can't pay you, but he's like, I got these bottles of wine. I'm like, I don't drink.

It's like, and you stole them. You very clearly stole them. The most criminal show. I can't pay you, but do you like

cigars? Yeah, I'll blow you. I love that it's a fencing operation now with a comedy element.

Don't go near the Cuban embassy with these. I remember Norman and I went to comics like it must have been 2010 and we

watched it was Greg Geraldo's last time headlining through and dude we were like every other joke we were like

high-fiving him we were kids we're like this is incredible you know uh incredible I saw Patrice there I saw Geraldo there

I saw Maron do a what the [ __ ] with uh Atella was on I think Geraldo was on it

was incredible uh who else did I see there I saw some I saw Aziz coming I saw Melany there the first time

saw saw We do shameless there. Remember we meet you in Solomon. Where is this? I was there. Maybe you

weren't there. That was a great hour. Great hour. Where is this place? Comics. I lost comics. I lost an ECNY

to to it was uh me uh Dad St. Germaine Kate McKinnon. What's an EC? What's an Emerging Comics

of New York awards? In 2009, and I was uh nominated for Emerging Comic.

Don't worry, you guys won in the end. But um and uh yeah, it was, you know, it was

like it was like alt comedy awards basically. Yeah. But yeah, it was Kate McKinnon before

SNL and she was nominated and yeah, Mike Kaplan won. We were always in the basement doing the Ochi's Lounge was like the B- Room. We

were always doing the open mic, but to go upstairs was Oh, it was a real treat. It was remember the first time I got booked

upstairs. Yeah, me too. That's when I [ __ ] up D. Roa's in intro and he yelled at me for like a half hour.

Hilarious. I don't know what I was thinking. It was like 2010 and uh it was the height of fear factor or something

and I was in the green room. I was hosting. I was so nervous and I go, "Hey everybody, next up, give it up for Joe

Rogan and the crowd was like, whoa shit." Hey, a TV guy. And it was Joe De Roa, but the Joe's and the O's and the

R. I [ __ ] it up. And he walked out and this disgusting smooshy, you know, pasty Egyptian walks

out and they're like, "Ah." So he claims to ruin his whole set. and

eventually his career. And he's Have you held it against him ever since?

What do you mean? It was my fault. Oh, okay. I [ __ ] up him screaming at you. Oh, no. I [ __ ] up. It was all I He was

half joking, but he was pissed. Okay. Damn. What could you do, dude? I I I remember um we judged a

roast battle um in Austin and this guy came up to him after and was like,

"You know, you were, you know, you could have been a little nicer." And Joe's like, "I was being nice. You were

terrible." Wow. It was Joe. I love Joe. I remember the one time we were at the stand and a guy

came up and did the whole, you know, heckling, but I was just helping out and she was like, "No, you weren't."

Yeah. Yeah, we're not helping out. Like just to have that I never have that confidence.

I love I love a guy who's this close to the edge at all times all the time. He's this close to breaking and his

posture also suggests he wakes up at like Michael Douglas and falling down.

Well, the best St. Germaine roast joke. He goes, "Dosa, you look like you are constantly hearing about Sandy Hook."

Like, dude, did you do St. Germaine? I

remember St. Germaine had a roast and Comedy Central came and they were like, "This is the meanest thing."

Oh, we went that we've ever seen. We went for the jugular and everyone. It was brutal. Yeah, that was fun.

Roasting got kind of crazy. It's on YouTube somewhere, I think. Yeah, it got to a point where I remember

Tel once saw one of them. He was like, "Jesus Christ, keep it surface." Like like you're like digging into people's

like family tree because it's your career and it's like if you It's like this is my big break.

So, let me bring up this guy's dead dad. That's what it was. Call him gay. Dead relives. Yeah. Like I never talked to to Ralphie

after Rose Battle. Oh, yeah. Killed him. We thought it' be the cholesterol, but

it was you. It was me and Jerry. All right.

He had accompllices. I was watching that roast live, you versus Ralphie May, and I was like, he's

gonna [ __ ] kill him on stage. I watched him yell at Jeff Ross like, "You [ __ ] you know, backstab me.

you're supposed to be my friend. And Jeff's like, "You didn't have any jokes. What do you want? Can I can I tell you what happened before?" It was crazy. So, like, you

know, I said like, "Hey, is there anything off limits?" And he goes, "I'm an open book. Say whatever the [ __ ] you want."

And of course, he didn't realize like, you know, I Googled his divorce. Ah

and but but I remember when we were filming um that day when we were doing rehearsals, a guy is like on his knee

filming up and he's like, "You're giving me the [ __ ] Godzilla shot. You're trying to make me look fatter."

Wow. And he's like getting mad at the camera. That's why you look fat. Yeah.

And I just I just remember I'm like knowing what I was going to say and I'm

like if this is pissing you off. Do you remember any of the jokes? Oh, I remember all of them. Well, give me one.

Do the ring joke. Oh. Uh the roughest part of Ralphy's divorce was getting the ring off his finger.

[Laughter] Jesus. Th this one I mean this is the one that like this is my opener because

his whole his whole narrative was every other comic is just going to say I'm fat and and their hacks for doing it right.

So I said you know um Ralphiey's going through a divorce. It says a lot about your shitty personality that your wife

would rather take half your money now and she could wait three months for all of it.

[ __ ] that's when he like he immediately is like wait what what did I get into?

Yes. cuz he brought the little Fbreze bottle like you smell bad or whatever. His thing was just that I stink and he

called me Pepe Le Pew and and then my closer which is one of the best jokes I'll ever write

was um you know um I know it's hack you know for me to call

you fat and then and then and then he leans into it not realizing he goes it is I was like but your family's gone

everyone deserted you and that fan beat you on last comic standing the reason I

make fun of your weight is because it's the only thing you haven't lost Oh, that's poetic. Now,

now here's ironically, that joke has no fat on it. Here's here's the thing.

The way that his face shifted when I said the that fan thing was just that

was lipo suction. But that was that was where he legit got

really pissed where it was like, come on, man. because it was in Montreal in front of all these execs and and you

know there's those guys who they can't let something like that go like he surpassed that fan in every [ __ ] way.

Oh yeah, he was a great but he lost to him on a TV show and I knew it would still bother him.

Of course. Of course. Wow. Wow. Yeah. But we never talked again. I ran into his ex like two weeks later which

made me feel really bad about it cuz she was like, "You got him. You got him. Good job." I'm like, "I didn't do it for

you." Yeah. Damn. Oh jeez. Well, the real loser is the stool.

Wow. You had to get a stool and then another stool. Wow, dude. And I remember even O Zic would have been I can't do

anything for this. One of one of his reps came up to me like a few months after he's like, "You

went too far." And I'm like, "You're the one who keeps booking him. You went too."

He's like, you know, it's like it is, you know, rose panels. It's like, you know, you're in a [ __ ] UFC fight.

Yeah. And you're just like I mean, and I if he had said, "Hey, divorce is off limits." Then divorce is off limits, right?

Well, you're like a backyard brawler and he was like a like an Olympic wrestler

and you just went in and he wasn't a roast guy, though. He was a obviously a very skilled comic. You know, he was prolific and he was a

murderer on the Oh, and even his fans were like, you know, he's a better cop. I like I never said he wasn't. Yeah. We're doing a roast battle.

I just said no one loves him. You went for one. I just said it was fat in 15 different ways.

You went for the juggler. It's not easy to find. The weird thing is you drink more soda.

Maybe high fructose corn syrup business. Well, I had to I had to I had to think like his audience.

He had a Donnie Brasco. Poor guy. Well, remember remember like a few

before we battled he was really mad at Chelsea Petti. You remember on Twitter? Yes.

Because she had an album, a special called One of the Great. And Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, "I've been

with, you know, I've seen Richard Prior. I've seen, you know, George Carlin. George Carlin. You're not one of the greats." The whole thing was like, "It's

a joke." Yeah. And when I saw that, I was like, "Why is he in a battle, man? This is not

Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Well, RIP.

Yeah. He's taking up two seats on that flight

to heaven. He broke the stairway. Him and Brian are together.

Did you see what they said about you? Did you see what they said on that podcast?

About my boy Ralphie? They broke my boy?

Ralphie is Luca Bronxy. Wow. Damn. No one had to tell him to take the

canoli. [Laughter]

He's fetuccini Alfredo. There we go.

All right. Poor Alfie. Poorie. Good comic. Check out his

albums. Now promote him. Yeah. Check him out on iTunes.

Yeah. He was unplugged in 2017, but we're plugging him in 2025.

Damn, dude. [Laughter] The guy was a He was a pro wrestler. The

guy Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Was No. No. The guy played Lucari.

Damn. Matt Ralphie was sumo. Okay. Did you know Uncle Jr. was also in The

Godfather? Yeah. Yes. You know this part two? Yeah. Who is he? No, he's Johnny Ola.

Johnny. Wasn't that part Jun? Wasn't a part two? Maybe we have the internet. Yeah, I just

watched I watched Good Fellas last week and I was like, "Holy [ __ ] forgot Tony Sicho is in this season." Everybody's

those guys. They just they probably had like a you know like Guinea Express.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, they he's from Brooklyn. They're all just They almost know each

other. It's the same 10 guys in all the movies. I think Johnny But thing like even if you say like two

lines in a movie like that, that's at least $100,000. I'm not thinking just

residuals. No, definitely. Oh, Godfather Residuals must be nice. The guy who was the the warden in Shaw

Shank, he was like it's he said six figures like when TNT was showing it every week.

That guy's acting a lot. That character. Remember when like you didn't know what to say to your dad, so you just put TNT

on and hope Shaw Shank was playing. Yeah. Right. Right. By the way, look this up.

Also in Ace Ventura, too. Oh, that's right. That's Ralphie's wife looking into his butt.

That's what the donut sees before eats it. You either start living or start dieting.

He's hitting the pipe with a rock, but it's just chocolate. Um, look how much a woman speaks in in

Shaw Shane. It's just the poster. It's just the poster. Rita Hayward, I think. So, I think it might be the

record. Any dude say any [ __ ] of these like mob movies like Godfather, dude. The Irishman.

Does that prison movie pass the beal test? Chief.

10 seconds. 10 seconds. Female. Wow. Wow. Damn. Saudi Arabian approved.

But even if you wa watch it in Saudi like TNT, their faces are blurred. They're veiled.

Uh, wait. So, Mike, uh, do you have new material? Are you back on the road? You just you just shot it all.

I don't have any. I don't have any. I have some Pope stuff. Oh, there you go. That's funny. That's the first thing

asked me when I got off stage last night. Do you have any Pope stuff? He's so cautious.

But you're working on these chunks. It's like I don't know how you guys do. I mean, I know Sam, we talk on the phone. Yeah.

So, we're going through jokes, but um I'm trying to work on like chunks. Yeah. You know what I And it's like it'll work

in front of some you guys have your own audiences now. So it's like but it's

like it'll work in front of some audiences and it won't work in some front of other audiences. And it's like I can't live with that. So it's like I

have to go back and then retool. So I have a bunch of those. I have a bunch of chunks that like are constructed but not

really working. Yeah. which is frustrating because it's like you got to go back and then it's like let me get some confidence by just

writing a couple of jokes these standalones or whatever and then you don't want to cater to like just

Nate's crowd or you want stuff that could work anywhere. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. I mean I I have to

survive though. They're hot. They're great. He's doing arenas. It's It's unbelievable. And they're really hot but

it's like I'm still in the clubs in the city and then I go on the road and work funny bones and stuff. So I have to kill there too.

Oh yeah. So it's uh Yeah. But you're a killer man. You always turn it around. You always every time, every hour, it's like

killer. Tolific. Turn it around. But uh but but I need to like I find that talking it out really helps too cuz

I used to be a sit down, get a cup of coffee and just churn it out and then see how it does in the set and then

listen back or whatever. But but it really helps to like sit down, get on the phone and like it's a lot of energy

though. It is a lot of energy to do that. to write it and then and then sit and talk it out and then you just got to

keep working with it though. Yeah. The writing alone in your room it's so I feel like sometimes I'm the

only guy who can't crack a joke. You ever just stare at a thing? You're like what is it? Where do I go? And you feel like does other do other people do this

or is it just me who sucks? Oh I did. There was all that Epstein news yesterday. So I'm going to write a good Epstein joke. I spent like a couple

hours on it. I tried like eight Epstein jokes the seller and they all [ __ ] whiffed. Also my neighbor was like can

you get me tickets? I'm like yeah but I'm doing what I'm going to do. So, so now my neighbors like just had to watch me bomb eight Epstein jokes and I was

like I don't give a [ __ ] But then you get into that thing where it's like you were on Epste Island.

But it's like when you get on the thing like that where it's like it's exciting cuz it's topical but then you did what you did there where it's like

okay how much time do I spend on this? I know like how much I mean we're all stubborn and like whatever but it's like

how much time should I spend on this topic that's going to be out of the news in 6 months or 3 months. It's like a few

years the Epstein jokes have still been working, you know, but now it's a new angle that there's no list DOJ or

Sam's Epste jokes didn't bomb themselves. But I mean the Wait, when did he kill

himself? 2019. Has it been that long? I mean, yeah, it was when he was murdered.

I don't Yeah, I think like I'm not a big conspiracy theorist guy, but a guy like that has too much confidence

to kill himself. I There's like too many guys. One of the few people who believes he killed

himself. I believe he killed himself. I believe he he got there and was like he had this big Italian uh

uh cellmate who killed like three people and was just like a kind of a bully guy and he was probably bullying. I could

imagine. And Epste saw that and he's like, "This is jail. When I get to I'm not even out of

penitentiary yet. Like this is the rest of my life. I'm just going to get um and he's [ __ ] kids which is like a

big no no. Yeah. You're just getting abused in prison. So he's had a great cushy

great life. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously he's [ __ ] Well, not a great life. More, you know. No, actually that's why I did mean that.

I don't know. It seemed like a pretty cool life to me. Dude, do you do you do more pedophile jokes or less pedophile jokes now that you're a

father? I've tripled down. I do that to the kid. I just had my kid introduce me to other

[ __ ] kids. Yeah. Yeah. That's the only reason I had banned from daycare,

banned from picking up his I remember when my sister had a baby, I got her uh I got her Lorie Kil Martin's

book about having a baby and I didn't realize she name brought me in the book as having a dead baby joke.

So my sister's like, "She mentioned you." I'm like, "Oh jeez, I didn't I like a joke about leaving babies." I think the it was like an old joke. It

was like I saw a headline said Stone Dad uh leaves baby in the oven. And I'm like, it should say Stone Dad puts baby

in the oven. That's like the shocking part. Yeah, right. Not to leave him, you know. But uh I

didn't say it was an A+ joke. But uh he said it was Yeah. But uh

I was like, "Holy [ __ ] that was a big Italian guy. Thanks for showing that." Yeah, that was the guy. He was a monster. He killed like three

people and he just like I think he just he felt that and then and then going to

like a penitentiary, he's like I I just can't do this. Yeah. Right. Right. But that's my theory. I know everybody

else thinks cameras are just magically off. Nobody saw it. Nobody saw him dangling there. It is also hilarious though that like,

you know, Trump's whole thing is like, we're putting out this [ __ ] list. And then a few weeks ago, Elon Musk is like,

he's on that list. That's why he's not releasing it. And now Trump's like, "Ah, we got to [ __ ] we got to figure it out." I don't know.

Yeah. Then Trump's like, "We'll deport Elon." Keeps flipping. Trump is like Matt Damon in the Departed.

He's like, "We got to [ __ ] find this guy." Code switcher. Uh yeah, it's it's too much to keep. It's a

lot to write and people go, you get so much material, huh? You know, random people and you're like, I can't do it

all. It's too much. It's tough when it's that big a story cuz you're just like, well, everyone's taking swings at it. If it was like a

great So, yeah. I mean, but it's almost just a way to keep the muscle strong to tackle those times. It's also like, you

know, the the day that he was elected, like I just knew it was going to be exhausting because like even like the

first time like when people who don't care about politics are like looking up what impeachment means and all of that

like we didn't do that with Biden. We would not have done that with Kamala. Like did you know about habius corpus?

Like when the uneducated are trying to educate themselves, that's a problem. And when everyone's like deeming

themselves a political comic, like either go for the joke or don't. But, you know, when everyone's like, "Here's

the angle. Here's how you should view things." You're like, "That's that's not what you do." With Twitter, it's a 350 person writer

room. So, you're like, "I think I got an angle." And then you open Twitter and you're like, "Ah, there it is." The problem The problem, too, is that

the most Trump jokes anybody can make. I know. That's why it's so hard to get an original one. Yeah. And And it's like, yeah, there

what what are you actually saying? It's like, you know, it's a take. You try to get a new take. I got this one I don't think anyone's

touched. is about him being orange. I think it's going to [ __ ] hit, dude. I call him commander and cheeto.

Wait a minute. Let me Whenever I see someone like orange man bad takes, I'm like, have you not you

don't see this is out there? I know. you I mean you know that they were like like on all those late night

shows they just took out their old they just you know some of the jokes

you're hearing now are from the first term like they're just repeating them and of course first term jokes

what about his hair though has anyone tackled n that's that's that's all you dude all right I'll try it

but it's old hat to us but you put a joke out there like that it'll go viral it'll a good if it's a if you have a

slightly original one. It could it could pop. But that's true. Also, like you get rewarded for speed on Twitter and things

like if you if you get it if you get there first. But yeah, but there's accounts that just

like poach your joke, you know. I know there's that too. You see the same joke over and over,

but now it's hard to do a late night show because by the time the show is out, everyone's like made So that's you

really have got to have like a a unique angle. Well, topical world. Look at Josh Johnson. It's just it's topical. So

people like it. Well, it's also Twitter. What happened was a lot of the people that got writing jobs from Twitter could

not hang in an actual writing job and they stopped hiring from Twitter.

Oh, is that right? Yeah, that was happening a lot where it's like you to to write on like I've

worked on like the soup like to write on a show like that the amount of output that you have to have it's like it can't

be like a couple zingers a day. Yeah, you had to write like 80 jokes. Like you

had to write a I don't know how you do it, dude. Because you're one of those people that you get a subject and Mike will [ __ ]

like we all know this. He will rattle like so many [ __ ] even working with Mike on the Netflix thing. It's we're working on on the show, you just see he

is a [ __ ] you are built for those rooms and and very few are, right? But it's work, you know? It's like it's

that thing of I remember when we did the movie awards in 2015 and it's like and

you you know what's funny is like what's great about them? It's different than standup because standup it's like you

are trying to find the best thing. When I write on a [ __ ] like that I put the worst thing too.

I agree. Yeah. Throw it all out there because it's also it's like you're not saying it. Yeah. And let them choose. They might think

it's the best thing and it could jog another thing. It could there are jobs where just you're just

filling a page. I I mean it was like amazing like working on the on the globes with Nikki where it was like oh

we we spent like she killed that. Oh it was phenomenal. And the hard work was there. Like she went up almost a

hundred times. She um basically it was like we started in November and it was

funny like one of the jokes that aired was the first one that I submitted. Hey, that feels good.

Yeah. Do you remember the joke? It was like you guys can um do anything except tell people who to vote for.

Wow. You wrote that one. That's a great joke. Great opener. Great. Great to like that's like a nice

but good for the room too to kind of zing them a little bit but not too harsh too much not your vase

McDade in the back being all. Yeah. I remember I I posted this photo on my own wall and a a white woman of

course was like, "Oh, I bet you're the kind of guy who adopts a black baby to feel better about yourself and call

yourself progressive." So that was that was You should be like, "No, I do it for human trafficking.

It's actually much worse. Have you heard of Mark Norman? He's going to buy them in a few.

I don't go with the black ones. Yeah. But yeah, but I'm a little appalled by the diversity.

Yeah, I'm sure that came up at some point, right? Oh, yeah. Good times. The guy next to JP is black.

Not [Laughter] the guy in his photo. It's like it's like where's Waldo? But

yeah. And then and then Okay. The guy next to him, that's John Max. He writes

on everything. Oh, really? He's the guy. He He is the guy. He writes on every

single award show. He was one of Joe Koy's guys. I'll put that up. But his fault.

Don't blame him. He actually wrote the line where we said, "You should blame us." You're going to be that when he dies.

That's you, baby. I hope so. Yeah. I think you got that. I'm trying to volanch my beard, you know.

The circle gets the square. But yeah, you're going to be that guy. And I I would happily be that guy.

When you guys walked in, was it like Resville Johnson and Avery?

We we we we worked on a thing with Brad Pitt together, me and that guy. What was that?

It was just he was doing like some um award show speech. He was uh presenting

David Fincher or something in France. And you wrote jokes for Brad Pitt? Yeah. How did that come about?

Through him. because I I I did the the Can you help me with this custody hearing too I'm working on?

Give me a couple zingers up top. Can you write from the perspective of uh belleaguered adopted dad?

They're both adopted black kids. Yeah. Yeah. But uh but he doesn't keep in touch with any of them. I don't

No. No. Whoa. Elon doesn't either. I'm trying to, you know, the autistic dad thing. I'm trying

to, you know, take that back, too. So, what was it like working with Brad Pitt? I mean, you just sent jokes. I

never did respond or no. Um, I don't know. No, he never did to

me. Like, John was like working with him directly. He ran them at store, right? Paid in cash and and sent like a [ __ ]

like $500 bottle of wine. Hey, you're like, I don't drink wine. It's so funny that Yeah. I know. I was

like, can you get me more action figures, please? Can you get me Angelina Joel Lee, who

played Ajax in the Eternals? I heard that. I heard his new movie is good. the F1 movie. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd like to see.

He's actually great, man. He's a great actor. Let's get him on here. Yeah, he's awesome. That was fun.

Bullet Train was great. Was it? It was a lot of fun. And Angelino Jolie played Thea, not Ajax. That was Sama. I know someone

would be upset and it would be me. I was upset. Yeah. Yeah. Brad Pitt's run has been pretty [ __ ] amazing. I think so many good

movies. He produces good movies, too. Yeah. He did the Bard. I love that he's the guy who frees the

slaves in 12 Years of Slave and he produced it. Yeah. I wonder who should play the hero here. Nate.

He also played Didn't he play a Nazi or did he play Nazi? They beat the Nazi.

He was like a fog. He was cool as [ __ ] in that movie. Yeah. All I know is Fight Club. Fight Club's good.

That was awesome. I didn't watch it till too late. They Fight Club was ruined by the people who

love Fight Club. Yeah. It's like fish. Like your fans aren't helping you. Yeah.

But they're just they're just both so good, man. I love those two actors. But uh and David Fenture is awesome. Oh my

god. Well, I see that book you were talking about about the uh not not producing the movies that are great. That I would say

the same for review guys. I just watched the Led Zeppelin doc. They gave horrible horrible reviews to Led Zeppelin out of

the gate. This band sucks. They're not talented. They're the worst. Sorry that came out of nowhere.

No, I know what you mean. But uh yeah, like they don't put on shows that are good, but they also review everything horribly.

Well, you know, you you you were asking me about pet peeves, right? We got to get to some.

And reviews was a big one for me cuz like you know the the Superman movie is coming out. I'm really excited about it.

And you know they just lifted the embargo and there's people you know review bombing it because I like the

Zack Snider stuff and all that. My my big pet peeve is don't listen to reviews. Like I was I was talking to a

friend and his whole thing was like me and my wife wanted to go to a movie and we couldn't decide cuz this had this on

Rotten Tomatoes. It's like just go to the movies to go to the movies. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Fight Club was horribly reviewed.

Is it horribly reviewed? No, I think I think it got booed at a festival. I think it was pretty well reviewed. I pull it up.

I think it was like this is like a manchild uh you know, [ __ ] movie

blah blah blah. All right, I take anyone's pretty good. Wow, that's incredible. You know that

96% popcorn is beating up the 4% that didn't

I mean yeah it's like I remember it's a fair pee for sure but like uh Shaw Shank bombed you know when it came out

theatrically yeah for best picture but that's true but it bombed but I mean I had one of

those moms who was like I don't want to take you to those Adam Sandler movies and those Chris Farley movies because they always got like

bad ratings in the paper. Sure. Ace Ventura got bad reviews all the comedies get horrible writeups.

Well, there was the thing in the in Living Color book. Um, it's a great book. Uh, homie, don't play that where

they talk about bullying Jim Carrey because like he would he would stay at the office after um, everyone went home

and work on Ace Ventura. Oh, but they were like there were the amount of people that they that was a a dead

script that they had passed from this person to that person and they're like there's no way this is going to work. and the talking out of

the butt thing and sure. Who else could have pulled that off though? I mean, that was like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he was honing

that character on stage for years, right? Maybe. Oh god. Oh, that's great. That is my nightmare.

Thanks for not I like that you didn't do Nikki so I can work again. [Laughter]

It looks like he see it's somehow more diverse now. Yeah. Look at all of those fathers of

black children. I worked on some peeves. Let me see what I got for a peeve. Yeah, I got a couple peeves. I got some

peeves. This is a classic peeve. Maybe I've said it before, but it just gets annoying. You know when you're in a room with that

one guy, just you and a guy in a room and you go, "What'd you eat for lunch?" And they go, "Who me?" No, you're the only guy here. That

drives me [ __ ] nuts. Who me? That that feels like like you're pitching on the first day of Seinfeld.

Who me? Small talk though, Mark, isn't it? Is it Is it Is it small talk?

Well, well, who is he setting you up to let you know what the big lunch was? Well, it's just mindboggling. I'm like,

who else? There's no one else here. Who else would I be talking to? The who me? Like, oh, oh, me? Like, he's caught off

guard. Yeah, I don't get it. It's crazy. I'm talking to you. I'm looking at you. You're the only person here. Everybody

go me. Yeah, you. Yeah. Who you hanging out with, Betty Boop? What is this?

Uh, I got a good one. Oh man. Yeah. It's uh when you're on a plane and

they you land and they take off the seat belt sign. It's supposed to filter out

just one row. It's naturally one row at a time filtering out. Everybody knows that. And but there's always usually one

person who gets their bags immediately and tries to run for it. And they make

it like maybe four seats up and then they're stopped and then they're confused. as to how they're stopped.

They're like, "What? What do we It's They don't have to catch another flight." I understand if you got a connecting flight, all you have to do

connecting flight. Yeah. Who is that? But it happens. I mean, I'm not kidding. It's like at least once

at le every time. Every time. Every time. There's at least one person who gets their bags and then rushes up

and then is perplexed. Yes. That they only got four rows and they're like, "What the

Every time. What do you think is going on here?" I know. I know. It's like you see the natural progression of things. It's like

they think they system. What's also like when you when you land early,

you always end up losing that time taxiing. That's true. It was like I I just landed

in LA 40 minutes. You know, we got there 40 minutes early. We still exited the plane on time.

Yeah, they always That happened to be yesterday actually. That's true. Do you think there's a quicker way to get out of the plane or the way they

have it is the way that it works in Europe? They open the back door so you can flood out like that and it's so

much better. Yeah. But they won't do that in America. They won't open the back door. There's a back door on the plane.

Yeah. Uh it's like my last relationship. She wouldn't open the back door, right? No. I uh

in Europe they would. I got a I got a call from someone I haven't talked to in like 12 years. And

your dad. There's Brian Cox.

Hello, Samuel. The character is pathetic. He left me a

a message and it was no context. Just, "Hey Sam, it's Kevin." That's the

message. It's been 12 years. I need some context. Yeah. Come on. I need something more than just It's I

can see who it is. Yeah. Yeah. That's That's annoying. How about this guy? Hey man, can I can I borrow like 60

bucks? How are you? He does throws the how are you in after after the favor

like to be like I'm not just asking for money. I'm I'm checking in too. The how are you before is also annoying though.

Yeah. Yeah. Cuz it's worse before. They're both bad. But uh

would you rather have just a Venmo request? I'd rather that. I'd rather that. Just Hey, can I ask you something? Uh

yeah, just like that. How are you? You don't care how you can't borrow money expecting it back.

If you ever lend someone money, you have to accept that it's gone. I know. That's that's a bummer. And then

if you ask for it back, somehow they get mad at you because there was like I don't know. There was a moment like when you're an

adult of like I can never ask for money again. I don't know when it was but it just felt like and then because someone would

do it to you and you're like oh that's sad. I also don't like when they bring up they go I know I owe you money by the

way. I'm like that does nothing for me. You just you're aware of it. That's great. That's even worse. Where have a tab?

Or how about when they owe you 500 bucks or whatever and you're at a a bodega and you're like, "I'll get the Coke." And they'll go, "Let me get the Coke."

It's a $148. You just go $49850. [Music]

Yeah. I got I got another peeve. Just a simple peeve. Referrals at the doctor's office.

I hate refer. I have to go to the doctor to see another doctor. Yeah. Oh, that's great. You need to write me a thing so I can

see the doctor I actually need to see. I hate that. Crazy. But sometimes there's no referral, which is confusing also, which

is like, oh, we'll just take care of it. We'll just I love that. Yeah. But it's like, I thought I needed a

referral. You don't. The difference in quality between the Paw Patrol movies and the Paw Patrol

series, let me just [ __ ] tell you. You'll know. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Do you have any qualms with the TV showing screen time? You worried about that at all with the kids? Yeah, it's fine. I mean, you know, Miss

Rachel really triggered my autism. It was hard for me to watch because they do like zoomins of her mouth. It's like

very sensory like ASMR because she's a speech therapist. So, she's like teaching kids to talk. Oh, weird.

It is like very helpful for kids, but it's also it was excruciating for me to

watch, right? But he loved it. It was his first thing that he watched and you know, she's she's uh I just did an episode of my

podcast all all about her because of all the controversies that she's gotten in stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. which aren't even real controversies, but it's the people that go after her.

Oh, really? What's the name of your pod, Mike? Uh, Nerd of Mouth. Nerd of Mouth. But her whole her whole thing was about

like kids shouldn't die, and that's a hot take. They called her like an agent for Hamas.

Whoa. Anti-Semitic. And she cuz she did a video with a

three-year-old Palestinian amputee.

Yikes. I'm trying to have a nice Sunday here. Trying to enjoy my matzah.

Yeah. I don't know who's the agent of Hamas, but I think they work at WME as well.

I got a great deal for you. Boy, she must be loaded, right? I mean, the amount of views she has.

Well, now Yeah. I mean, she has uh, you know,

that's how I feel about her controversies. But she she has, you know, merchandise and all that, like

toys at Target and the Netflix deal. Really? Yeah. Good for the That's smart of Netflix. I

mean, and she she built it herself in 2019, like started the channel and then, you

know, the pandemic was like there is some I don't know if you're there yet, but when your kid first starts watching

TV, that relief that you have of not having to worry about them the entire time is

intoxicating. I know. I know. That's why you go on these YouTube kids stuff and it's like eight trillion views because

it's every parent in America just being like, "Yeah." And they put autoplay on so it never ends.

Right. Exactly. What about the pen? The who? The crib. Isn't the crib protect them? I

don't have any kids. Oh, yeah. The crib. Unless you're putting the pen. I'm sorry.

Not a pen. But the thing is, sometimes there's an Italian baby in there and he intimidates you and then you hang

yourself on the mobile. How old is Mr. Rachel?

I think 42 43. Wow. She must have wild sex. I think you have to you have to go the

other way. Mr. Rachel got her husband, Mr. Aaron

42. He's a music director and they do all the stuff together. Wow. She's from Maine. How about that?

Yeah. All right. Good for her. She's She's killing it. People love her. Kids love her. It's almost like a a hex she puts

on you. Well, because so much stuff made for kids is like garbage. Like designed to be garbage. Like Coco Melon and all of

that. It's like very like quick cuts and things. And her thing is like focusing on her and eye contact

cuz she talks to them like they're people, right? Yeah. It's called parentes. Yeah. That's that's the language of like how

you change your voice and everything. Like Miss Rachel porn.

Jesus. He pulled up his Rachel board. Did he put my face on instead? No. No. Don't do that. I'll never get a

voter again. All right, there we go. We got Rodney's B.

Oh, yeah. Did Did I skip a peeve? Did someone say a peeve or someone have one? I had I had the referral one, but yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] I had another one. Oh, how about this guy? I'm going to [ __ ] this up. But the guy who goes um he

won't just tell you something. He makes you have to say it, you know. Be like, "Uh, remember that diner we went to last

week?" And you go, "Uh, I don't know." And he goes, "You remember the diner? Come on. It was the one on 34th." I'm

like, "Well, what about it?" And he's like, "What? You know, you know the diner." And I'm like, "Just tell me the diner." He has to make you have to pull

it out of you. Drives me crazy. That was our friendship, but you were always drunk and I was always sober, so

the diner. You actually did fill in the blanks for us a couple times. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how you did it

because those earlier years were so hard. Like I had a day job. I was living out in Crown Heights. I get mugged doing

open mics and I had to have a [ __ ] drink and you stayed stayed Well, he had his other he had his soda

and his candy and my action figures. Well, I g I gave those up when I moved to New York and then I started

collecting again when I moved to LA. And it it is an it is a genuine addiction

because I I'll buy one sometimes and it doesn't you don't feel anything and that's when you're like, "Okay, I

gotta stop for a while." Is there one you had your eye on and like a big gig, you're like, "I'm getting this one for this." What was that? Galactis.

Pull it up. Galact The Haslab Galactis is He was like It's like a $400.

Whoa. He's 32 in. Yes. And he comes with other figures. It's Yeah. I have it in my

living room. Wow. That's your tall boy. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. 600 bucks.

That's on the aftermarket, but Yeah. Can we get you like a a used one? Like a

car? No, I have one. Oh, you got one? Oh, good. I got it when it came out. Yeah. Oh, you made it.

Well, that was always great was like, you know, when I would have a job and it's like, okay, I could get this and

this and this and then, you know, when you're not working, you're like, all right, just got to stay lean. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. But there are but

what they used to do is if I if if this is boring I'll I'll stop. But they have

build a figures where you get six figures and each figure has a piece and

you put it together. So you end up buying [ __ ] you don't want just to make a bigger thing.

Whoa. Damn. Wow. That's a metaphor. Yeah. It's so funny.

You ever doing that and your wife I'm sorry. You ever doing that and your wife's like, "But could you cut the lawn

or redo the deck?" It's like, "You're putting together this complicated action figure."

She knows what I am. It's like, "We need the bathroom redone." Like, "You could take your action figure skills and redo the

bathroom." Skills, though. Mike, when I got my official autism diagnosis at 38 and told her, she's

like, "Yeah, you think I didn't [ __ ] know." What? How did you get uh

diagnosed with it? How did How did it play out? Well, I took I took a test. Um, and uh, it's so you talk to like the

psychologist for like a few hours. Then you have to talk to your parents. That's the worst part. Um,

with no eye contact. Yeah, I can do that. No, now you're self-aware, so you have

to try to make it. It's way worse. It was It was so funny as my dad was like, "Yeah, I probably had that, too."

And and then my mom was like, "I didn't know you weren't supposed to smoke when you were pregnant."

And um and then you it was so funny. I had to go into the psychology office and

you know the waiting room and it's just me and a bunch of kids cuz that's when you're supposed to get

tested. Yeah. And then you're doing all of these different um you know cognitive test and

memory test and things like that. And was it cool being with the kids you could compare action figures?

Mine were better. No. And then Yeah. And then I got the diagnosis. Yeah. And it was And I

remember like, "Oh god, what if my wife thinks different of me?" And she's like, "Yeah, [ __ ] of course I knew." Yeah.

Yeah. But she's like, "I've been making excuses for you." She's like, "You're a grown man in a Silver Surfer shirt." I knew.

Put it together. Adena's awesome. She gets it. Yeah. She is awesome. She got it. She got And you sound cool on a date.

You're like, you know, uh, it's Brad Pit gig. I made six figures.

And I made Brad Pitt. I had to get him, too, with six different Brad Pitt action figures.

Yeah. Yeah. On a date, you sound great. Six figures. You're working with Brad Pitt. You're at the Golden Globes. I mean, you're you're killing it.

She'll say that [ __ ] for me because I always feel weird doing it. It's like, you know, Mike worked for I was like, I didn't ever even talk to him or

anything. I just send jokes. I have this wine that he sent me. Yeah. Yeah. Is there anyone else you worked with

that were like that was really random like that? Oh, all the time. You got quite a resume. Yeah. Well, you know, when you write

like for award shows and stuff, it's like you're writing for everybody. Like you're writing everything is written.

You have to write the intros, you have to write the outros. You know that that guy Max, he uh often does the pattern.

But there's like pattern people where that's their job. When you see two celebrities on stage just

talking like there's guys who they just write that, right? Yeah. Like, hey, Viola Davis, you look

well, it's like that's a good line. Thank you. But the but but the monologue the way that like the monologue works it was like

funny with with the globes it's like you get a seating chart and it was funny what it was so like two days before the

globes we are all sitting there because you're helping Nikki with memorizing

where everybody is. So we're all we got footage of this where they would like

show us I was Tilda Swinton. She's like, "Tilda Swinton is here." And it's just me going, "Right."

But we would wave so that she would know like when the show's happening. That's where Tilda is. That's where, you know,

Shalamé is. They have to know all of that [ __ ] in advance. That makes sense. Jeez. And it's funny, too, the politics of who

sits at what table and everything. And when to make the Jalapia joke

and then the slap, which you write, I assume. I know the guy who wrote that joke. See,

someone writing Will Smith is like, "I like pretty girls." He's like, "That's it. I'm straight."

The only thing I'll say about that joke is like, you know, I've talked to the guy and it's like he wrote 20. That's the one they picked and he never, you

know, he wasn't thinking, oh, this would, you know, and then Chris Rock picked it and he didn't think that would happen either.

No one did. Such a nothing. Yeah. Yeah. GI Jane, come on. Yeah. Yeah.

Crazy. Uh, Mike, you were a wrestler.

Byron Allen, everybody. Well,

it's coming back. Is it? It replaced the um After Midnight.

Byron Allen is Yeah. Comics Unleashed. Oh, Comics Unleashed. Got the email.

Oh, hey. Yeah, it's in the 12:35 slot. Yeah, nice. That guy needs more money. He owns

the Weather Channel. Yeah. No, how is that still a channel?

I know. I think we talked about this already. Steinfeld episode two. How is the weather channel a channel?

Why don't you just go outside? It's partly.

You You've met him a few times. Do you ever have an inkling to do the voice in front of him?

He enjoys it. Wow. He enjoys it. He's He's very uh thick skinned. He can really zing him and he's

cool with everything. I mean, you see him with these Palestine hecklers. He's just like, "Yeah, [ __ ] you." you know,

he doesn't get phased at all. I saw an interview where he was like, he said he liked being made fun of, which

is like it's probably the right attitude. He did SNL and the whole sketch is what's the deal with coffee tables

there? There's no coffee on it, you know, and he's right along with him. Right. Right. Which, you know, it's kind of fun that

he's Well, that whole 30 Rock thing was Tina Fay crying. Yes. She's He's like, "Are you doing me? I'm

crying. Are you doing an impression of me?" No, I'm sad. It's hilarious.

Craig Blackface was on NBC. Who was Black? She did Blackface on the show a

couple times. Oh, I he said Kramer Blackface was on NBC. Oh, he did blackface as well on

Seinfeld. Kramer did Oh, the chicken episode. Yeah. No, no, no. Different one. That one.

Yeah, it was like tan. It wasn't blackface. We like got He was tanning, right? Fell. He was dating a black girl

and he shows up to the house and the dad got offended. Dude, I I I think you might have been the one who showed me, Mark. when he he

him apologizing on Letterman and then and then Sci-Fi going, "Stop.

It's not funny. Come on, stop laughing." Cuz we've we've laughed at the guy for 15 years straight.

Well, also the warm-up person is like, "Come on, everybody. He's got to keep the energy up."

This guy used to send me shirts and they were like kind They were like basketball shirts mixed with pop culture at this company. And one of the shirt they were

some were really cool. Like he did like a Nicks one, a Death Row Records Knicks one, but then he did one he sent me and

it was Kramer in blackface. He's a black guy, so he thinks it's funny. But I was like, I can't wear this [ __ ] shirt.

People going to think I'm a psycho. You have to You have to show them the fork that's stuck up your ass.

Oh, I forgot about that. Was it That's not it. That's not accurate. I don't know where it is.

Damn. Yeah, man. I I I started around the time that happened and

Yeah. And it was interesting, you know, it's like there's that part of me that it's like it did feel like people were

saying he's an amateur and he had done a lot of standup before, right?

I mean, Michael Richard, but was he a he was a standup?

I think in the way of where he stood on stage and did Pratt falls and stuff. He didn't have like setup punch stuff.

Yeah. like he used to go on Johnny Carson just him and just he had a whole character where he was a bad weightlifter and all

the weights would fall off the rack. Right. He was a great physical comedian. But yeah, that's I I think they meant

amateurs and like he didn't really know how to handle himself when things would go south. And he's been, you know, praised

for years and years, then all of a sudden he's getting heckled and yelled at. Yeah. Remember him in UHF? Oh, yeah. Stanley Spowski.

You feel when they take that mop? Yes. My mom. Yes. Mom child. He's a the villain and

problem child. That killed me as a kid. Damn, he's so young. Yeah, look at that. Wow. Hey, this weird. He's

coming to the garden. You see that? Yeah. I like go. He was a He was a guy, too, right? He

was like the stickler on Seinfeld, right? Like in the outtakes to be the one who was mad all the time.

Yeah, he was super on. I'm sorry. We had Larry Charles on. Oh, we're having on in the future, I guess.

No, we had him on at this point. Okay. Yeah. Uh, he said he'd never seen Michael Richards laugh or smile.

Yes. Oh, wow. Until that night at the laugh. It is funny when comedians get described

like the biggest sociopaths ever. Like he's never smiled once. You're in comedy.

You don't smile ever. You're surrounded by Jason Alexander Ela. And knowing where that's coming for

Larry Charles of like, you know, writing scripts for him and hoping that he laughs and oh man, I want this guy to

love this thing. He was just so dialed in and he just obsessed. If you would if you would mess up, you'd

go, "Come on. Come on. What are you doing? Get the I think he gave a lot physically to those scenes." So if like I think it's like when you get annoyed when you're

given so much and it's not working out. You're like, "I can't keep [ __ ] summoning this." There's a scene where the AC falls out

the window and he does a thing where he chases it and he breaks a rib. Really? So he was kind of a Buster Keaton. He

was like, I'll go all in. He's not a veteran. You guys are like actually the guy's

like a war hero. like I I don't know. I mean, I'm I'm all for what you're saying, but um

don't worry, the heart is purple. It's not black. It it it's it's crazy cuz like he that

show like the se he is a part of the secret sauce obviously but like that that is how you make a show of just

protect like Jerry was genius of protecting yourself with just the best performers and the the three of the you

know you know George Elaine and Kramer are completely different. Yes.

Yeah. But they're all you know that you have phys because there were so many Seinfeld clones but they didn't have the physical

comedian or But before that, it was all family. Everybody was trying to do

Cosby. Yeah. Everybody was trying to do family comedies because it's like we need to sell. We need they family comedies are

what's hot. And then that came in and it was like, you know, obviously we know the story. It's like they

and the guy at NBC believed in it or else it wouldn't have got that kind of a run. They were trying to do Cosby. He was

trying to do them. And it didn't get a proper 22 episodes till the third season, right?

Yeah. Yeah. They had a time time move and that helped them. They were after Cheers at some point and that helped their

ratings. But you did have Taxi and Mary Tyler Moore. Taxi is so good. Taxi is good. That's not

Barney Miller. Yeah. Yeah. But I felt like after Cosby every I was really trying to force the family and

TGIF 100% 100%. Yeah. They go with what works. That's a Right. Right. Yeah. Right.

You know, and for something new to break, somebody has to take a risk. Yes. probably why Married with Children work because it was like the

anti-cossby. It was called Not the Cosby's. No, originally. Yeah. Look at that.

Wow. That's crazy. Well, it's crazy cuz like Yeah. Seinfeld would not exist now. They would not, you

know, that it has a name change of the Seinfeld Chronicles and then, you know, Elaine's not even in the first episode.

True. That they would Yeah. White cast. Yeah. But the five, you know, um,

episodes of a first season, they would just cancel it after that. Oh, 100%. It was in the summer, right? I think

they just But then it would get reborn on Tuby. Yeah.

Well, there you go. And see see Mike on Tuby. No, you got a special out there.

I Comedy Central years ago. Well, check out Mike's podcast, Nerd of Mouth, and watch Mike Veion's new

special on YouTube. Uh, low-inccome white. Low-in-one white on Nateland Entertainment. Uh, two two of our faves.

Clean as a whistle. Yeah. Look at you. Yeah, man. You look rugged and hunky. Look at that. Yeah.

Good Nights Tempe De Moines Hartford and the Zies Lab. Nice.

Mike.com for dates. Please follow me. ComicMike V. Oh yeah, definitely check that out. Mike is is

terrific. One of the best. Yeah. Thank you guys. What's the next? First saw you at Ochi's Lounge in

comics. And I was like, that's a comedian. Thank you, buddy. Yeah. Remember we get a we get a nugget every

now and then. You're like, "Oh, Hannibal's coming." Yeah. Oh my god. This is crazy. My lady is gracing us with this.

Yes. Or one time Marin came down. He was like, "Look at all you said people."

We loved it. Oh god. I'll be at uh I'll be at uh when does this come out?

Start August 22. uh Irvine Improv and then we got uh Oklahoma City. Then we

got uh the Venetian in Vegas, Rochester uh the 22nd to 25th

through the 27th in Rochester, New York. Chicago Theater, Winnipeg, a big Euro

tour in October. It's it should be up by now. You're going to be one of those dads that farts on their kid, aren't you?

Wait, he's going to be His first words was, "Please no." Yes. You're just going to raise you.

I'll be in Barcelona, uh, London, Paris, Amsterdam, [ __ ]

uh, all over. I'm forgetting a bunch of Dublin. I'm all over. It's on my website. I'll coming to your place in

Europe. Then we got, uh, Salt Lake City and the Biggie at uh, Carnegie Hall.

December 4th. Oh, Reno as well. I forgot, but yeah, December 4th uh, New

York, New York. And he will not be writing on a TV show and we'll have plenty of free time. No,

me being impatient. [Laughter] Hey, I'm in the Hamptons. Then Calgary

with Adam Ray. Uh Las Vegas, Dallas. Hello. And then uh good old Akran, Ohio,

Dayton. Then we're going to Halifax. I've never been there. I'm pretty excited. Ottawa, Huntsville, Hattisburg, San Jose, Boulder. We added a show. And

then we're off to Europe. Athens, Oslo, Stockholm, Helsinki, Dublin, then back

to some casino and uh Valley Center. Off to Mcoobies, Rochester, DC, Chocolate

City, Rochester, Niagara Falls, San Diego. Come on out. Say hello. Get some

Bodega. BodegaW whiskey.com. And just just uh DM the Bodega whiskey account on Instagram.

Matt, our our boy will will get it in your liquor store. I me stumbling in the beauty bar drunk might have gotten us in

a beauty bar in New York. So there you go. That's how it happens. Two guys were like, "Why don't they serve bodega

here?" And I go, "Why don't you know ask the owner right there?" And they did. And he goes, "You have a whiskey? I think I think we're in.

We got to keep you drinking just for business. I'll I'll keep stumbling in, dude. Hell yeah. The stumble in. We should

work. Stumble in. Walk in, you know, smoothly."

Yeah. Well, folks, yeah, check out the special. higher mic to write for you if

you're Brad Pitt level. Are you doing the SPS? No. Ah,

no. Something about the way I look in sports, they just didn't put the two together.

All right. Well, you guys are the best. Yeah, this a fun one. And uh we'll see you guys next week. Sunday's day for my

next

[Music] talking shaked.

[Music]

I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember

her and I get down in the same way. [Music]