Adam Carolla – Mark Normand & Sam Morril – We Might Be Drunk Podcast
⚡ Quick Reference Guest Adam Carolla — Comedian, podcaster, vintage car racer Top Quotes “Too much choice makes people miserable.” “I do the opposite of what my parents would do.” “You’re on a first-name basis with the judge.” Top Films Discussed Rush · The Last Picture Show · Star 80 · F1 Sponsors & Deals Shopify — $1/mo trial at shopify.com/drunk Tempo Meals — 60% off at TempoMeals.com/DRUNK Lucy Breakers — 20% off at Lucy.co/DRUNK Quo — Free trial + 20% off at quo.com/WMBD Top Products Bodega Cat Whiskey · Porsche 935 collectibles 43 People 13 Products 15 Films/Shows 10+ Concepts 48 Quotes 8+ Takeaways We Might Be Drunk Podcast Adam Carolla: Scotch, Split Screens & Awkward Interviews 📅 March 1, 2026 ⏱ 1h 29m 🎙 Hosts: Mark Normand & Sam Morril Guest: Adam Carolla — Veteran comedian and broadcaster, former co-host of The Man Show, prolific podcaster and vintage car racer/collector. Mark Normand and Sam Morril sit down with Adam Carolla for a relentlessly bit-heavy hang that swings from dating apps and internet porn to parenting, gender, and why too much choice makes everyone miserable. A huge chunk of the episode is Carolla’s car-guy world: racing historic Porsches, the Paul Newman 935, and the now-infamous story of Jerry Seinfeld repeatedly refusing to walk 100 feet to look at his Le Mans-winning car. They weave in nanny and affair scandals, “rich man / poor man” class jokes, and a long run on bathrooms, public-toilet etiquette, and petty social peeves. 🎯 Listen if you care about: stand-up comedy process, vintage Porsches and racing, Jerry Seinfeld lore, dating apps and modern relationships, parenting and gender debates, everyday social peeves and bathroom design. 📍 Timestamp Directory 00:00:00Cold open — afternoon Scotch, Bodega Cat whiskey plugs, Adam riffs on Mark’s nerdy “California split screen” desktop plus a bizarre Elliot Gould reference. 00:02:30⭐ Adam tells the story of his painfully awkward live Elliot Gould interview; breaks down guests and morning DJs who manufacture personality by being negative. 00:06:00Negging, dating apps & bad openers — they compare contrarian guests to dates who “neg,” pivot into Bumble, terrible openers, and why too much choice makes everyone less happy. 00:13:00Internet porn, options overload & aging libido — long bit on infinite porn scroll, never finishing, over-optimizing sessions, hotel room marathons. 00:18:00Lube addiction & shower technique — Adam’s semi-serious “dad talk” about not getting addicted to lube, learning to finish standing up. 00:20:00⭐ Schwarzenegger’s nanny & pirate outfit — infamous maid photo, roast the pirate costume, argue his cheating is baked into the same personality that made him Mr. Olympia. 00:23:00Mark’s nanny setup & Tiger Woods’ wife — non-English-speaking nanny strategy, Tiger/Elin Nordegren detour about insanely hot nannies and marital booby traps. 00:27:00Nanny fantasies, male nannies & movie logic — cartoonish “ham under a box” nanny trap, how unrealistic hot nannies would be in films, rare male nannies. 00:31:00MILF porn, opposites & getting caught — plausible deniability with spouse, Mark’s dad catching him, Sam’s dad finding “Older Rod Riders,” Adam’s gay “Cult Roundup” booklet. 00:34:30Cult Roundup, gay panic & early woke parents — keeping the booklet as a collector’s item, imagining dad worrying he’s gay, contrasting with early-woke family. 00:38:00Kids, early same-sex crushes & school dynamics — Sam kissing a boy in all-boys school, mom’s instant “you’re not gay” response. 00:40:00⭐ LA, transitions & boy-girl twins policy — Adam’s “policy”: if daughter transitions to boy, son must transition to girl to keep symmetry. 00:41:00Parenting, kids becoming “people” — teens finally become fun adult hangout partners, dark detour into boring kids’ conversation. 00:44:00Seinfeld’s car-guy regrets & Adam’s son — Seinfeld wishing his son was a car guy; Adam’s son never playing football. 00:48:00Football saved my life & flag vs “flag” — Pop Warner saving him from becoming a statistic, why he doesn’t force his son. 00:52:00Car talk, Laguna Seca & Porsche 935 setup — deep dive into the Rolex Historics, Adam’s Paul Newman-driven 935, its Daytona/Le Mans pedigree. 00:56:00⭐ Rennsport, Seinfeld’s Porsches & The Snub — Adam invites Jerry to walk 25 yards to see the legendary 935, Jerry says “I’m good” repeatedly. 01:01:00Playing the Seinfeld clip & breaking it down — they play Jerry’s podcast explanation, analyze his stance, debate who’s unreasonable. 01:03:00Sponsor block — Lucy nicotine pouches, Quo business phones, Tempo prepared meals, Shopify. 01:08:00⭐ Pet peeves: Chicken Marsala guy & sweater price guy — Mark rants about forced food reactions, the “guess how much” ego game. 01:12:00″You don’t remember me” & slow walkers — the power move, plus friends who tag along but walk painfully slow. 01:16:00Toilet paper rolls, public dispensers & boutique bathrooms — giant rolls that don’t spin, thin paper, insanely loud airport dispensers, barn-door bathrooms. 01:20:00⭐ Pissing on TP rolls & Singapore justice — people who pee on public rolls are society’s true monsters; jokes they should be executed. 01:24:00Penn Station piss, trains & setup for clip — Sam’s puddle-of-pee bathroom story. 01:26:30Seinfeld clip (fuller version) & Family Guy bit — mock Elon Gold’s impression, note how Seinfeld gently reframes Adam as pushy. 01:30:00Seinfeld’s meanness, punching down & Louis C.K. — how mean Seinfeld characters really are, Louis’s defense of punching down. 01:33:00⭐ Jay Leno: fires, crashes & Jackass energy — Leno set himself on fire with a steam car, clotheslined on a sidecar, rolled the Hemi Under Glass. 01:38:00More 935 talk, auction money & rich man / poor man — circle back to the 935’s value, transition into Seinfeld and Leno calling it his signature bit. 01:43:00⭐ Performing the Rich Man / Poor Man bit — first-name basis with the judge, knowing copper prices, your own fragrance, “have you checked his trailer?” 01:47:00⭐ Kim Kardashian “gets you off” closer — she either gets you off sexually or gets you out of jail via prison reform. 01:50:00Character story: refusing the VIP bathroom — Adam ignoring a porta-potty with his name on it, using regular ones instead. 01:53:00F1 movie vs Rush & racing portrayals — F1 is cheesy but well-shot, Rush is tighter, the








